A thread for me
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:22pm
Thread Topic: A thread for me
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=_=
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Ok i sent it
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Just forget it k?
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No because I'm trying to say happy birthday and you're being mad that I didn't notice.
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Yes i am mad... But fine. Thank you. Now forget it
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-_-
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Happy Birthday~ *gives you a cupcake* I know you dont like me but..
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Dont give me that face. Just drop it..
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...Thanks *takes the cupcake*
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What's the point of you're just going to be all pissed?
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You know what? Im not doing this. Im going now. Bye
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Ugh. -.- fine.
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._. No one is on and this will go unnoticed so its fine. Technically im not here. Which is good. But i just need to unload and no one will notice this. So its ok... Im not here... *sighs* i dont know what to do about anything anymore. Im so lost and i just dont understand. I failed my placement exam miserably. I got a 15% on my test.. Who does that? Me thats who. My family doesnt listen to me. I dont wanna go to college.. And everytime i tell them that they say "you need to go to college so you're going. You owe it to us" i feel frustrated and stupid. Nothing i do is right. Things just arent the way i wanted them to be. Everyone thinks im this really really smart person and im not. Im not smart. I shouldnt be in college, i dont have the intelligence for it. I feel like my relationship is slowly fading and im trying so so hard to keep it going... Im trying but im scared. I feel like im not good enough and that no one cares... Because honestly who would? Sometimes i wanna give up. Just lay down and give up, but thats not me. I dont feel like me anymore. I dont know who i am or what i want in life anymore. I thought i did but im just.. Lost. I havent gotten to live my life.. Its just this constant never ending cylce that repeats itself and its all the same. This little town of 800 people just doesnt give me anything. And i just... Im tired and i want everything to stop moving and going forward so i can just sit here and be here in this moment... In exactly 5 months ima be 19. You know what ive accomplished? Nothing... I havent done anything extraordinary or spectacular. Im nothing special. Im nothing because i feel like a nothing. I feel unneeded and unwanted... Ignored and forgotten... Unheard and i just... I dont know what i want... I just want to feel like i dont have the world on my shoulders, crushing me and making it difficult to breathe... I want to feel needed and wanted... I want to feel like me again...
Sincerly:
Someone who was just a shadow on the wall.. -
Hey, when you check this again:
You are special Lyssa. Everyone is. Maybe academics isn't your thing, which is fine. But you're not stupid. Honestly, don't feel worthless just because other people can't see your potential. You're an awesome photographer and if you don't want to go to college you shouldn't have to if you're not ready. Just don't blow all your money. There's always two year colleges if you need to bump your grades up before going back. And your family might just want you to be able to get a job, it's probably not to make you miserable, but I don't know your situation.
I know it seems like no one cares about you anymore, but sometimes you have to be alone to find out who you are and who you want to be so others don't define it for you. Just try to get out. Get off of campus, away from your family. Just go somewhere where you can just relax and breathe. Somewhere serene and that makes you happy. Just take a break from life to calm down and enjoy the moment.
Honestly, I don't know how to make you feel "better" since I'm not exactly good with people, but I can tell you that in a sisterly way, I love you and I want you to still be in my life even though you don't want to be on this site anymore. So sorry if this is just wasting your time, but people do care, Lyssa. Sometimes it's just hard to tell. -
hi
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