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most of my anxiety is under control, but there are certain paranoias i struggle to get past. i guess it's just another part of being human
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i'm honestly starting to spiral again now that he's not here, but i don't think i can or should say what's on my mind. i've deleted several versions of this message because i am not sure what would be appropriate to share and what isn't
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i don't even really feel like i should be here to begin with. that's not because of anyone else's existence or anything — i just get the feeling i will slip back into old habits if i do, which isn't a good thing
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like this whole thread feels wrong lmao. i will probably request its deletion later on. but i don't know where else to be right now
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i just
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brain is going too fast idk
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i hope tomorrow will be better. maybe my meds will work by then and i will laugh at how stupid i was today
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oh. it already is tomorrow. oops. why the hell is it 2:30 AM
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i have a burning question but i don't want to bother anyone with it. aaargh
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i think all of my friends are asleep right now anyway. and i'm probably reading into it too much. bad habit of mine
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i just over-analyze everything. the smallest changes in behavior or the mannerism behind certain comments always puts me on alert
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times like these, i wish i had a superpower where i could just. know everything? not necessarily everything exactly, but like. in the context of a specific thing. because there are a lot of unknowns that i think about all too often
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i want to understand things in full. but that is impossible.
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in other news, i f---ing love Jayce and Viktor soooo much. i am glad that my IG and Twitter feeds are just Arcane lmao
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Mel is beautiful and I can't wait for her to be added to the rift
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