Party Legs
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 27, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Party Legs
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And they just show up at the most random times even when I don't feel bad initially...
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I wouldn't mind if they weren't this dangerous and just risky for my own well-being....
I'd rather have the nuisance thoughts like eating soap... I know how to handle those, bit when they clearly start sounding appealing... -
I don't want to get myself into trouble and end up back in the hospital for a month...
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And I still don't have a locking journal, so I can't get these thoughts out... there's no one I trust enough to talk to about it, and I fear I'll traumatize someone if I try...
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Like, thankfully, it's nothing illegal, but it could destroy my life all the same if I really just gave in... I don't want to, but at the same time I do because why the f--- does it matter?..
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I feel like I'm drowning alone in these thoughts... They keep urging me on, and I just want to release all inhibitions...
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If I do that, I'll be practically holding my life in my own hands, and not in a good way... I know this, and yet...
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Maybe I just wanted to perish all along...
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I want to think okay, but I don't really know if I am...
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I guess I'm somewhat okay, now... I never really know when I'm okay...
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It needed to be softer.... Things feel overwhelming right now...
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I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing...
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I can't will myself to get up...
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I hate being alive...
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I need to go eat, but...
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