in the birdcage
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 28, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: in the birdcage
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i want you to know that i watch you on your way home. the little icon moving across the screen with every step you take. everything that happened to you still scares me. i just want to know that you’re safe. what would i do if anything happened to you? i want to be able to touch your face with my hands one day. i want to be able to hold you.
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i’m still wearing my makeup. did i leave it on my face for you? i know you don’t even care for it, but i like to look pretty for you. sometimes i hope that you would notice. when i take off my makeup in front of you, it’s like shedding layers from myself. i feel raw. bare.
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but i like for you to see me that way. i want you to see when i smear the cold cream all over my face, and it makes my makeup bleed everywhere. then i just wipe it clean. it’s like you get to see me in all kinds of different ways.
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i miss you. i want to hear your voice. it’s like honey, i swear it.
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you say you’re going to live in an abandoned school bus in the middle of nowhere. and now i want to live in an abandoned school bus in the middle of nowhere too.
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if i had my own place, i would tell you to come live with me. i’d make you breakfast, go on little nature walks with you, run your baths, and tuck you in at night.
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but i know it isn’t meant to be like this, and loving each other isn’t something we should do.
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honey, you called me.
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but he’s the one in your room and not me.
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my stomach is hurting. maybe i should’ve eaten more today, but i didn’t want to.
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i think i would eat if you told me to though.
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crying in the kitchen.
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do you need me
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i think.
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