8 hours of clock noises
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 23, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: 8 hours of clock noises
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I listened to 8 hours of clock noises today. I feel like I lose just a bit of what makes me special everyday. It's hard to actually say what I feel because I know the feelings I have aren't unique but the actual feeling of it is so hard to put into actual words. There's no running water at home right now. Mom didn't pay the water bill. I haven't had running water since Monday. I had a runny nose since Monday but it's cleared out. It's time to peel the skin! Into my mouth it goes ⭐. I still hate my teeth but no one acknowledges it so I don't have to feel as guilty. I feel so detached and connected. The clock noises would be a lot calmer if home wasn't so loud. This place doesn't truly feel like home. I am lazy and ugly and stupid and mean. I hate my mom but I couldn't do what she does. I'm a real hypocrite. Maybe that's why I don't feel like me and feel exactly like me at the same time. I'm really lucky, I should stop acting oppressed. I'm more depressed than oppressed but I can't really say that. I need an official diagnosis to say anything like that. It's not society it's personal. I'm a really bad friend to them. They help me so much and I can't do anything for them. Maybe that's why I'm a horrible person. Making this post I'm starting to wonder how much I'm allowed to type. That ad scared the heck out of me. I remember my old accounts. They were peak awfulness. I made all of my friends worry so much. When I was a new user it wasn't that I was nicer it was that people were friendlier. It all really started to change after that Colorado trip. I definitely fell off when that school year ran around though. I wish I could live in a dreamcore world. I'd love all the eyes because it would mean something was paying attention to me. Humans at their core are sad lonely things. I can't just chalk up the entire human race to that. That's wrong. I'm sorry to anyone reading through all this. I'm starting to feel like this is all one big joke. The eternity seems hopeless. Death is hopeless life is hopeless it's all just more and more pain and suffering. I have a problem. I eat paper and dried paint and glue and staples. I like how it feels on my teeth. It feels so guilty. I eat rubber too. I eat too many things I shouldn't eat. It's disgusting. All of my stories are so quiet. I miss everything about activity. I'm so bored. I hate babysitting them. They hurt me. They yell at me. I can't fight back though, they're children. My back hurts so much. My PC is slower than my school computer. I needed to charge that. We're reading to kill a mockingbird. It's a good book. I could play on the Wii but the clock sounds aren't done. There's so much I could do if I just got up. But I am uselessly laying on my bed. I will grow up to be useless on my own with nowhere to go but this wretched house living in misery everyday. I almost signed my name. I have a real main character complex. I want it to be over with. I want my delusions to stop. Something stop it. I would be useless in the apocalypse. All I have is a slightly cool set of eyes. I guess I should stop this here but I feel like I have so much more to say that I've said before.
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I found more to say but the post is done
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More keeps on coming. This is a word vomit mixing into feelings
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Hey Eggaly just wanted to say I hope things get better for you. I know I probably can't do anything to help but I'm still here if you wanna talk. I know you don't know me but I care.
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Thanks
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I wonder if I'll remember this week in the future
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Water is back
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My cat is missing. He's old
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There was a tornado that went through my town so I am especially worried
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We found him
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