This Is My Last Message For All My Social Platforms
- Locked due to inactivity on Jan 25, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: This Is My Last Message For All My Social Platforms
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READ TO YOUR DISCRETION!!
No. This is not a suicide note. No. Instead, this will be my last time seen on Quotev or anything, because my Christian Baptist household has decided to no longer allow me to go to a public school. Great right? No. That would be great for a person who was into that type of ----. Nope, I want to be with other people, not like a lone wolf though I attempt to be like that. But basically I am being taught by a lady from our church. I found a song: Silent Scream by Anna Blue. Here is the two versions I prefer: music.youtube.com/watch?v=8TrNoOeqovY (male version) and music.youtube.com/watch?v=cIlghWDd7RU&feature=share (the original). It described me, and I cried with my best friend, Skye Hellfire or (their second account) Kassie Hamato, because I feel like I am alone. And guess what, my best friend is moving, and I'm losing them also. My family won't let be LGBTQ+, I haven't told them yet, and I don't want to now because of church teaches that it is wrong and a disgrace in the face of God. I was fighting myself, not sure if I was anything. Was i straight? Was I genderfluid, a genderbender? Or transgender? Or even non-binary??
No. I thought it out, I wanna be a guy, a male. To have a ------- bare chest, no you know what's. I am transgender, female > male. But I don't feel loved for my decision. When I post this it will be either the night of Thanksgiving or the morning after Thanksgiving. And, I am no longer allowed to wear jeans, only skirts, long ankle skirts. I don't feel like somebody I feel like nobody. My Pastor would be happy because he says in comparison to God, we are nothing. Why?? I am tired of hiding. Why Must I? I can no longer go by Angel, my whole life is being taken from me!!!
I hate my life. Nobody notice I feel, however, I may be wrong. I want to be in love. Another fear is that nobody will notice me or...they'll won't want to date a transsexual. I am not a full male, and I never will even if I do a gender surgery. How can I do that? I am tired of being struggled. I'm trying to not cry as I write this. My whole life feels broken. And nobody really knows how it feels exactly in my life with my guardian, my grandma. They can walk in my shoes but that won't help. I want to have tattoos, and piercings, short hair, and wear jeans way below my hips like males and be able to wear no torso clothes without going to jail. I've decided I will attempt to drop everybody when I become old enough to move out, which in the state of NE it is nineteen, I will disappear, have a new name and hopefully, a new life.
I hope that you will not be sad, but I know I'm only kidding myself. I can't promise I won't kill myself. I just can't. But I will think of all of you when I think of it, and try to fight my inner demons. I have already cried for help, DHS stepped in but they didn't help me, they instead threatened to lock me in a mental institute. I obviously am doing this on my own, and I will beat my inner demons and become their worst nightmare (if demons have nightmares...). I plan on showing everybody that by shoving your child, whether teenager or young kid, into a box will only cause them anger.
I am clear-minded, and searched this up: www.wikihow-fun.com/Rebel-Against-Your-Parents. I plan on showing them that I won't take being not who I am as who I am. I plan on being me, snappy and full of anger. Meet the new Wednesday. This step will be difficult, and I may become physically abusived, however, nobody said this would be easy. Let me go over the steps, and if you want, you may read over the document thoroughly. However, I may warn you, Part 2 Step 5, will count for me. If I am going to be taking risk, why not do it fully, exploring is a good idea. Oh, and Part 3 isn't for me either, I'm doing this for me and my health.
Part 2 Step 5 "Avoid negative risks. These are things that could potentially cause serious harm to you or other people. Some of these activities are even illegal. Activities like smoking, drinking, taking drugs, unprotected sex, or gang activity can have consequences more serious than anything your parents come up with."
So. To my lovely friends, do not worry. Parents like to say they know everything, they were kids also and raised kids, however, they don't know everything. I don't know when I'll see you again. I may be a druggie, a f---boy, a singer, or a gang member, in prison, or even dead. But let's not worry about that. Life is a game, you just have to pass all its level's, and I'm going to try to make it to the top.
This is your last communication with Angel, you may get an answer from him if you comment before all his technology and life is ripped from his hands.
Bye.
X_X Pyscho X_X
- Angel
(This paper was removed all cussing hopefully, and hopefully safe for other's reading.) -
Did you want me for something?
(I am Raiden, the one engaged to Nitro.) -
Do you not remember me?? It's me Angel, Ang Hewley. You and Danny know me.
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Yeah, I remember you. I was worried this whole time...
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Well, this is my message to you: I'll miss you and am sad I never got to meet your fiance. I will seriously try not to forget you.
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Whatever you actually want to do with your life, when you become 18, the choice is yours and yours alone.. I don't feel entirely like you 100% wholeheartedly decided you want to do all this. Just reading how you go from saying you want to do this to saying you might kill yourself doesn't indicate someone who is happy with their choice. When you get a little older, the choice is only yours. Maybe you've decided to do this for acceptance and to try to get to the greener grass for the ones who would rather have you a certain way. I don't know. You're young, and a lot can influence you either way. But, I hope you know that you if you focus on following God with even the smallest step of "loving your neighbor as yourself", whatever else needs to change will change as you grow a better relationship with Him. I can't totally say I'm Christian, but I grew up in a Christian household. And I know that Baptist churches tend to NOT teach the forgiving and slow-to-anger side of God. If your intentions are in line with following God, even first in the smallest form, he's not going to just destroy you for every little thing you might feel is imperfect about you, ehatever it may be. God gives us mercy and He is patient with all, even those who want nothing to do with Him. I promise you God is not a hell-bent destroyer.
I only hope that you at least say something to your now-ex, who had a venting thread in the Study... -
My now ex????? Explain pls...
Thank you, you didn't have to help but I feel you did. The world needs more people like you, maybe people wouldn't feel so lonely then. -
Doesn't this also mean you're breaking up with Sonic Tails Lf?
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Sonic Tails LF??? Umm...I just broke up with a genderfluid person, Ash. No...I think you have the wrong person. Can you send me a link pls?
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I might be wrong, then, I guess. -
Dats my fwiend. No.
Here is my ex something: -
The link doesn't work for me...?
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Oh shoot. I don't know then, it always does that to me. Well, tell your fiance that I said hi and I wished I had meet them, however, I need to sleep (like I will) because it is 3:00 in the morning.
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Alright. I hope you'll be safe and be able to pursue whatever it is you truly want, then.
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I hope to hear from you one day again
Best of luck
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