writing underwater
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 3, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: writing underwater
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Still a lot more work but I'd better sleep lol. The art will be finished eventually. 5 hours and counting
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I suck at being an adult.
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I've come a long way but as someone who still struggles to remember to do basic things I'm really having a hard time with adult responsibilities
I understand why cottage core is so romanticized. I am so overwhelmed by society. Big -
Krisis
Panik -
I don't feel depressed but then I do thinks like forget about laundry for a month and forget to pay rent so I'm going to probably start having technology free mornings and evenings so I can meditate more and actually do the things I need to do.
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I'm super proud of myself for how much I've grown but I had a really traumatic childhood and I don't realize how much it still affects my life
Between Kyle and I we make up for the ways our parents failed us and I am so grateful for that. I'm grateful I get to show him comfort and stability that he's never know and I'm grateful that he helps me navigate life with his street smarts and capability. Ying and yang isn't always opposites attract. We're super similar personality wise but we still compliment each other's strengths and weaknesses. -
I need to create a better meditation space. I f---ing hate living in a dry city. I crave the forest. I want somewhere that's lush and a dedicated distraction and judgement free zone. I'd use my balcony but it doesn't feel safe.. wish I had another room in my apartment to dedicate to it.
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I spent some time talking to people today and after many months of research I think I probably have executive function disorder and ADD. I think manic depression was misdiagnosed since my psychologist really wasn't invested in me and pretty much just said "you think you're bipolar? Ok you check enough boxes to qualify." And that was that.
Hoping to get re-diagnosed or discover better treatment options for coping because it's really negatively impacting my ability to function in the real world. -
Mental illnesses are so complicated. Even in a space where many people have their own mental illnesses and are nerodivergent I still find myself worrying about being judged or thought of as less for my struggles.
Nerodivergence sucks ass though. Your whole life you just wonder why others seem to not connect with you and why you could never accel the same way as everyone else and then you realize that it's because of something totally outside of your control. Society was made for neurotypical people and it sucks.
I always thought everyone was somewhere on the spectrum and I am begining to realize that's because I wasn't able to cope with my own differences.
Also noticing that the vast majority of my friends are people who have ADHD -
Self care day 😌
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Consistency is key. spending time to realign my chakras and learn more about the world around me and myself.
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I need to focus more on reiki. Self healing is important. I want to fall in love with the things that used to be important to me again.
I think I might get some more selenite today. I never used to believe in crystal healing but I found the physical reminder helps me a lot. I definitely feel a correlation between my journey to healing and growing as a person and the crystals I chose to wear. -
Probably should write about all of this in a physical journal and not online. The energy and intentionality of it is just better.
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Crystal healing!!!
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I love crystals. They're so motivating for me! And super pretty 🥺
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