You can tell people they can't vent about you?
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 10, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: You can tell people they can't vent about you?
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In that person's own thread?
If that's a new rule I'd like to see if enforced beyond just the benefit of the in-group.
I 100% am behind preventing escalation and harrassment. But venting? This is ridiculous. Just because you're besties with all the mods doesn't mean you're exempt from complaints. People are allowed to be upset and feel feelings. -
This thread is an example of escalation. I get your point, I really do. I want the escalation to stop, too. But this post, like every pointed vent, is an escalation.
I think we all need to take a breather and stop.
Everything has gotten out of hand.
I wish we had all sat down and discussed our issues, instead of made vent posts about it. I was at work so I couldn't see what was going on to help the situation. -
Kinda hard to discuss anything when someone tells you not to interact...
This thread is an attempt at discussion yet you see it as an escalation. -
If it's discussion, you need to talk directly with the person you are venting about, not vent to the general public. Otherwise it's seen as escalation.
I understand you might have issues talking to the person you are trying to address, but doing this, a public, vague, callout, doesn't make anything better.
It just continues this cycle of anger. -
I was discussing with the general public to see how others felt.
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You're trying to rile up the public, and I understand your frustration. I do. But making people angry at someone will not solve this issue. It won't help anything.
I understand you were hurt you felt your feelings weren't valid and you couldn't vent your frustrations on the site.
I do think you should be allowed to have your own feelings and opinions.
I do however agree it should be handled properly and we shouldn't be rude toward others in our anger and frustration, in a public space, as it can lead to hurting others.
I'm not saying this about one specific party; I think all people and parties in all recent situations should try and be less aggressive and not escalate situations further. -
In response to the title/subtitle: I do think that it's fair to make a request asking people to stop publicly venting about [you] or a particular situation. Because the website still doesn't have a block feature, there shouldn't be any shame in asking another person to stop. It feels like it should be common courtesy. I'd like to think that the community is better than pursing an endless cycle of public drama.
I'm not fully aware of the situation so I don't want to comment on everything. However, I will say that deleting/controlling unwanted posts has never been limited to an "in-group". There are many threads in which someone can ask for deletion of a post. And I have seen threads of unaffiliated users requesting mitigation regarding undesired contact. I would strongly advise anyone to continue to exert those rights if they so desire. /gen -
I feel that the rule "treat others as you wish to be treated" applies here. Yes, people should be aloud to vent. However, venting about a person in a public place, when you know that they could likely see it, and in some cases taunting them because 'this is a vent thread so I can say whatever I want and you can't retaliate' is incredibly spiteful and mean. If you wouldn't appreciate seeing those things said about you, don't put them in a place anyone can see.
Write them down in a journal, a place or in a place where you can destroy the message if you need to, but don't vent about someone, even vaugly, if you would react poorly to someone doing the same to you.
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