Welcome to Antilia.
- Locked by breadgirl69 on Mar 24, '23 5:18amReason: Request
Thread Topic: Welcome to Antilia.
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Oh...
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I don't really want to be here.
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I should be happy that I got the job, but I feel miserable and I haven't even started, yet...
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I just don't feel like I'd do well with the customers. I did my duty well, apart from them, but the customers...
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I remember when I started out with this job. I'd always go home crying, shaking, wishing I could die, and one other thing... I really don't want to go through that again...
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I'm really trying with this whole interaction thing, but no matter how hard I push myself, it always does more hurt than help, in the end...
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I'm probably going to just not, for a little while. So...yeah...
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If anyone needs me, don't.
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Sigh.
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Think about the bigger picture. The bigger picture seen through a foggy, shattered glass of uncertainty...
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Where or how isn't necessarily something we need to worry about. Because we will. We just will...and I need to not worry over it.
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What I told you last night about our future, I need to remind myself, sometimes. We'll never know until the time comes...
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But, I feel so dead, right now. It's hard for me to push through what I have on my plate. You are never a burden to me, but the obvious burdens of my life are. And I wish my family would stop loading up my back with them.
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With s--- like the past few days and what my folks have been going...it's hard to keep going. And not knowing when we'll finally be able to start our life together is just a bit depressing. But I will never give up on you.
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I just feel so torn apart, today. Things are a lot better off than I was Sunday, but...it somehow still feels like hell.
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