"Died Loved" Chapter 2 is Out
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Thread Topic: "Died Loved" Chapter 2 is Out
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Chapter 1 “Remembrance”
I want to tell you a story, a story about a gay transgender who was murdered. He never knew that his boyfriend loved him, or that his best friend, me, would give up the world for him. Life never gave him a chance to be an adult. That is a depressing thought, that is sadly true.
This story is about my best friend, Jai Dovia.
^ ^ ^ ^ ^
“Jai! Jai, wait up on me!” I yelled his name so many times that many students at that point were glaring at me. He turned to look back at me and grinned his charming smile. He would wait for me at the door like usual, maybe even hide so he could scare me. And he would always get me when he hid because I was afraid that he had left me.
I stopped at the door to look for him, only to be scared when he came from behind the school door.
“Rarr,” He yelled and placed his hands on my shoulders in a claw-like way. I wish I could say that I didn’t jump, but...I did jump. Really high, which embarrassed me.
“Haha,” He laughed at me, and then smiled. “I really got you this time.”
I smiled back at him, my cheeks were red and I kept on biting my tongue lightly, “You sure did get me this time, Jai.”
He raised one eyebrow saying, “Next time? Who said you’ll get me next time? Or anytime after this time?”
I frowned, he was right, he always caught me even if I knew he was hiding. He saw that I was frowning, and quickly added, “I’m sure you're gonna catch me one of these days, Cala.” He grinned at me, trying to fix what he said before. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty; he thought he had hurt my feelings.
“Jai...It’s okay. I was just thinking, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I shoved my shaky hands into my hoodie pocket, trying to not show that they were all sweaty from the scare. “You never do anything wrong.”
“Are you sure about that?” Jai asked as we started to walk out to his jet-black F-150 FORD truck. “I mean, there was that time that I forgot…” I cut him off before he could bring back any old bad memories. He was a good friend, why should we bring back old bad memories and ruin that?
“Let’s not bring those up, it may ruin this good moment here,” I told him, a moment like this hand to be cherished close to the heart. And I wish it could’ve lasted forever, but of course, it died within two minutes. We stood outside of his truck for a little while, in silence, but after a minute or two, it became a little awkward. Jai rubbed the back of his shaved head with his hand and then said, “Well, we should probably get going.”
I nodded with my face turning red from embarrassment. With a push of the button, the truck unlocked and the headlights turned on. Jai freaked out and cussed saying, “f---. I left the truck headlights on again.”
Jai had a bad habit of forgetting to do stuff, especially when it came to the truck. One day Jai went into Walmart and left the truck running. He was lucky to have me with him or it could’ve gone very wrong. He was a little forgetful, but with the help of me, he would be fine in life.
“I’m sorry, I’m usually here to remind you to do all that stuff,” I told him. I could feel the guilt fluttering inside my stomach, making me uneasy. Usually, I was with him, so nothing ever bad actually happened to him, but I wasn’t there for him that time. He looked at me as I climbed into the passenger seat of the truck, and then replied grimly,
“It’s not your fault.” But then, suddenly, his tone was angrier. “Don’t expect that every time I make a mistake that it is your fault, Cala. It’s never your fault, it’s my dumb--- fault."
“But…” I started to say. But I cut myself off as Jai glared at me with his bold storm-gray eyes. I sat back into the seat after buckling up and shut the truck’s passenger side door with a harsh slam. Jai started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot while buckling himself into his seat. I wasn’t sure if I should say something, as I was afraid of him snapping at me again, so I kept my mouth shut, watching the hills speed by as we drove.
As he pulled into my family's gravel driveway, the truck rocked back and forth as we went over the uneven ground. When he had finally pulled up in front of my house, I started to leave the car when he said, “Wait, Calla. Just...wait. Please let me apologize.”
I paused, my feet hanging outside of the truck in the air. I guess he must have thought I was waiting on him to continue, so he went on to say, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. You try hard to keep me from screwing things up. I’m sorry.”
I jumped down from the seat, my legs hitting the ground, causing the gravel to rustle. I frowned at him while I laid my chin against the seat of the truck. My gut told me to be angry with him but my heart said to forgive him. I didn’t know what to do, and as I thought harder about what to say I could feel the anger rising up inside me.
I looked up at him because I had been looking down to think, “You seemed pissed with me because I want to help you even when I’m not here. And now you just want to apologize? You made me feel guilty,” I breathed out. It felt like I had been holding my breath for far too long. “You aren’t a screw-up or a dumb---. Just a person who won’t accept that they aren’t messed up. They just forget things easily.”
Jai sat there, stunned and in silence at what I had just said to him. Never had I ever before yelled at him like I just did. When he finally answered, he stammered saying, “I’- I...I’m sorry you..you.. feel this way...I-”
I had never seen him lost at words before, so this was the first time for both of us. Usually, when we fought, it didn’t last very long, and we never actually lashed out in anger like we had today.
I frowned and began to feel even more guilt overwhelming me. Why did I feel this way when I had the right to be angry? I knew why- because I had just started an unnecessary argument. I glanced over my shoulder at the house, thinking about if my parents were wondering what was going on and why I hadn’t come inside just yet. Maybe so, we never acted like this, usually, Jai got out and came inside with me or he would leave right away, but never have we done this before. I realized that I had been standing there quietly for a little too long, which worried Jai because his left hand gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.
I breathed in loudly and felt myself blush, “I’m sorry. I never meant to yell at you. Maybe we should start thinking about how others think? And we could maybe be a little more open with each other?”
I saw pain show in his eyes, I had literally just told him that he never thought of how I felt and that we didn’t talk enough. He didn’t keep secrets from me, so why did I say that? Maybe because I’m angry, but then again, there is no excuse for that.
“I didn’t mean it like that Jai.” I was restless, everything was going wrong. Very wrong, what should have been a nice ride home turned into a fight. A fight that wouldn’t have started if Jai would just accept the fact that he didn’t make mistakes all the time, that he just forgot stuff like a normal human being.
“I think I have to go,” That was all Jai said as he sat up in his seat a little straighter. He didn’t look at me as both his hands tightened against the steering wheel. “You should go on inside, your parents are probably wondering what’s going on.”
I didn’t want to, but I shut the door of the truck and stepped onto the steps of my porch. I watched him haul ass out of my driveway and it felt like I had just gone through a breakup. Which in my case was odd, however, I could feel the pain in my heart and the tears threatening to pour out of my eyes. I wiped my eyes with my hand and turned around to head inside of my house.
It was cold inside of the house and the AC was blowing a mile a minute, placing my bookbag on the hook next to the door, I could hear noises coming from the -
It was cold inside of the house and the AC was blowing a mile a minute, placing my bookbag on the hook next to the door, I could hear noises coming from the kitchen. I looked into the mirror on the wall and sighed. I look amazing, not a single hair out of place, so I didn’t look like I was gonna cry. A head popped out from the doorway of the kitchen startling me until I realized it was my mom, “Cala, is that you? Are you home, sweetheart?”
Two questions at once and I had just gotten into the house, I responded meekly, “Yes mom, I’m home.” I didn’t want them to realize that I had a fight with Jai, they would definitely all freak out. And the chances of them actually caring are very low, my brother would just snort and roll his eyes. My mom would almost cry, my dad would say that stuff happens. And the dogs would lick my hands and whatever else they could get a hold of.
I went into the kitchen, seeing that my mom had baked some cookies my hand went straight for them only to be smacked harshly. My mom gave me the look, and said, “There are snacks in the pantry, these are for your brother and his college lacrosse game.”
I rolled my eyes, and then remembered that’s something my brother did. I guess you could say I stopped mid-roll because I almost fell over trying to see straight after that. I made a mental note in my head to never do that again. Bad idea, that was for sure. Climbing the stairs to my room, I could hear the sound of my brother and his friends joking in his bedroom. His door was shut, showing off the peeling black paint and shiny scratched-up doorknob.
The door opened at the sound of my door opening and my brother, Daz, stuck his head out with a big smirk on his tanned face, “Hey Cala, looks like your home. Jai come with you?”
Him and his smiles, I’m sure he has enough girls at the college for his attention and enough friends so he’s never bored. I didn’t bother turning around to stare at him, so I responded, “No Daz, Jai did not come with me today.”
Daz’s real name is Dazron but he goes by Daz because it is easier to spell and say. But unlike me, he likes his name. My whole name is Calania, and many people can’t even say that. That is why I go by Cala, not Calania.
“Aww…” I heard Daz say and then sigh. For some reason, Daz liked Jai a lot, and I mean a lot. He might as well be Jai’s best friend, when Jai came over everything had to stop and do exactly what Jai wanted. That creeped out Jai all the time, he didn’t want everybody to do exactly what he wanted to do.
I went inside my room and shut the door behind me, wishing that Jai and I hadn’t had an argument. I heard Daz shut the door behind him, and go back to talking to his friends. Laying on my bed, I watched my ceiling fan spin around and around in circles. I wish Jai was here, I wish we hadn’t gotten into the fight, I wish the fan would stop making the weird humming noises. -
I was awakened by my phone going off, it was loud and playing Lady Gaga’s song “Poker Face” on repeat. I realized right away that it was someone calling me, who was calling me at this god-forsaken hour. I looked at the phone and almost laughed.
God-forsaken hour? It was only 7 pm, which in my dictionary isn’t late, it is early. I looked at my phone again to see who the missed call was from, and what I saw shocked me. Jai had been calling me, multiple times. I pulled my phone from the charger and dialed his number up quickly hoping he would answer right away.
He did answer right away, and I could hear the excitement in his voice as he spoke, “Cala, Cala. Guess what?”
I didn’t feel like playing the guess what game, but I also knew I would hurt his feelings if I didn’t play along. I smiled and responded, “I guess that your gonna tell me something exciting and want to come over right away.”
I heard him laugh on the other end, and then say, “Kinda like that. I’ve been invited to go to a party. And I want you to come with me.”
I stopped to sit the phone down to wipe my sweaty hand on my shirt. I sighed and thought about it for about five seconds, and Jai panicked saying quickly, “I need you, please come, you’re my best friend.”
I smiled at that, he wasn’t lying when he said that, I was his best friend. And even a pesky argument couldn’t stop us from being best friends. Picking my phone back up, I responded to him, “Yeah, I’ll come with you Jai. I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that.”
I could hear him cheering on the other end of the phone, he was probably dancing around all weirdly in happiness. I hung up, and Jai texted me that he would pick me up in thirty minutes. I couldn’t help but be happy also. Though I didn’t dance around in happiness, that would have been very awkward for me if anybody, especially Daz and his friends, saw me.
I decided to wear a cute over-the-top outfit. Looking at myself in the round mirror on my wall, I smiled, I wasn’t sure what type of party it was but hopefully, this was appropriate for it.
Turns out thirty minutes goes by faster when you are trying to do a whole bunch of stuff at once. Jai pulled into my driveway and honked repeatedly until I finally came out of the house, I didn’t tell mom goodbye or where I was going because I knew she wouldn’t care either way. I could die and she would still be at home baking cookies for Daz’s lacrosse game.
Getting into the truck, I noticed that Jai was wearing a very basic but hot guy outfit. He looked over at me and started laughing, “Seems like you are ready to go to a celebrity party, Mrs. Famous One.”
I frowned, did I over-dress? I thought it was a party, not a hang-out and chat thing. Maybe I had heard him wrong on the phone even though there had been no static coming through. It had seemed pretty clear when he said, “party”.
“Did I overdress?” I asked a little confused as to why he was laughing at me.
“No. It is just I have never seen you dress like that before.” Jai responded after he had stopped laughing. His face was really red, and his cheeks looked like little plump red tomatoes. I wanted to make a comment about his cheeks but I knew that would only cause us to both laugh, and then we would both look like two plump tomatoes.
“Are you ready to go or do you need to bring anything else?” Jai asked with a smile on his face.
I rolled my eyes at him, and he laughed a little back, “No Jai, I don’t need anything else.”
He nodded and pulled out of the gravel driveway, “So, how are you feeling?”
He seemed to look at me in a way that gave me a weird feeling. I knew what he meant, but what would I tell him. That I was hurt or that I had cried myself to sleep if I told him any of that then he would probably feel bad. And I’m not the type of person to make a person feel bad but I’m not the type of person to lie either so…
“I’m doing okay, I’m just not used to us fighting,” I explained as I leaned back farther into the seats of the truck, I don’t know if I was trying to disappear or just wanting to get more comfortable because of how uncomfortable the ride was gonna be on the dirt roads.
The dirt road highway sped by us as Jai picked up speed, he obviously wanted to get to the party even though usually he wasn’t a party person. I wanted to ask what was up with him so I turned from my seat no longer looking out the window and asked, “Hey, why are you so excited to get to the party? Your usually not a party person.”
Jai blushed and looked down a little, his eyes barely looking at the road. He then glanced over at me, and smiled sweetly, “Um...I got asked to come to the party by…a boy.”
I gasped, “Wh-...”
"Umm...Y-...Yeah.” Jai looked back over at me again. He was blushing very hard, and I realized that this was the first time that a guy, not a girl, had asked him out. Usually, a girl would ask him out, or he would ask the guy out. “I was surprised too when he asked.”
I finally managed to swallow past the lump in my throat, I didn’t want him to get hurt. If his heart got bruised he would probably want me to be around constantly. I smiled for him, no need to wish bad luck on him.
“Who was it?” I asked, actually wanting to know. Maybe the guy wouldn’t be bad of a guy, maybe he wasn’t a jerk type of guy. Boy, if I could have taken it back because I was way, way off.
“It was-” Just before he said the boy’s name he turned onto the road Treat’S VaY and he did it so quickly that I slid out of my seat, the seatbelt choking me to almost death. I was still trying to breathe and felt like I was on the hammer rollercoaster when he said the name, “Auburn.”
Now, I know a few Auburn’s at the school, one who is a baseball player and is the king of Jerks. He is constantly singing high-pitch in the back of the classroom trying to be funny, and yeah, maybe it is a little funny but still...I don’t want to fail this school year because of Auburn’s high-pitch singing.
And then there is quiet-awkward Auburn, he is the king of nothing and is really smart. But I don’t think this is the Auburn we are talking about because if so I must have missed the part wherein class, he told us he was a party person, not a stay-at-home person.
“What!? Blitz?” I asked in confusion, as I rubbed the brushed part of my neck where I was sure there was a red line from the f---ing seatbelt. Cocking one eyebrow at me, Jai responded, “Yes, Auburn Blitz.”
I sat back in the seat and sighed, and Jai gave me a worried look, “Are you okay, Cala?”
I wanted to tell him that Auburn wasn’t gay and that he would be a bad boyfriend. He is a jock, not just some cute guy in class who probably isn’t trouble. But instead, I looked at him and grinned ear to ear whispering, “You’re a lucky boy, Jai.”
He whispered back to me with a grin like a Cheshire cat on his face, “I know, but I’m nervous that I may mess up so that is why I asked for you to come with me.”
That hurt my feelings, he had only asked for me to come because he didn’t want to mess up this date. He didn’t want me to come because I was his best friend for like forever. I frowned and he must have not noticed because he just kept on talking, “Your my best friend, and I need you for
everything. This makes me feel guilty because I should be more independent at his age but I’m not. But when he asked me to the party I knew right away that I wanted you to come. So if this is some sort of trick, your there to help but also because your my best friend and you deserve to have some fun.” -
As I listened to him ramble on, I realized that he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. He was only trying to be more considerate of me. Why? Maybe because of the fight or he finally woke up and realized that his best friend was someone to cry on or to hang around when you were bored. Not that I’m saying that he does that, he is a good best friend in his own way.
As we pulled up into the driveway of the house that was having the party, I could hear the sound of music and the yell of teenagers. It was obvious this party had no adult supervision, and even without it, the party was one worth bringing the cops out here.
We parked the truck under a set of trees, listening for a little bit and watching people walk by before Jai unbuckled and smiled. “Let’s go, Cala.” As he said that, I became aware that I hadn’t prepared myself for this party or any party in general.
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