brandons thread ?
- Locked due to inactivity on Nov 19, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: brandons thread ?
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have a l'art christmas
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have a carrera christmas
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let me be your christmas
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it feels like its been such a long time. For the love of God why do I do this to myself
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I want to do it so bad. i hate myself so bad for not doing anything. I should f---ing do anything about it for once but I can't make myself do it. I feel like im gonna be played again and be treated like f---ing garbage again. I cant go thru it again. Why does it only get worse. Its been so long. I see those numbers and that name everywhere and all the time. I'm tired of it im so f---ing tired of it. Why does it keep getting worse. The only thing I can ever think about is finally going. It's to the point where the only thing I dream about are those numbers and that name and being gone, or going. I think about it during the day. I dont have fun doing anything. Im losing weight again I'm not growing and you're not here for Christmas and no one is. I will never be able to drive my grandpas car the one person in my family who actually loves me instead of pretends to, in all literal sense. That version is never coming back unless I do something. I can do it but im so f---ing weak in that I can't make myself. I dont know what is wrong with me. I dont know why I keep seeing these numbers and that name everywhere and all the time. I don't know why it's in my life. Its all I want and I can't help it and I've pushed people away because of it. From my chest up to my neck i look disgusting because of it. why is it this way. The last thing i have is my grandpas car and as lame as that sounds I cant even have that. this is why I want to go. Im so sick of it. Im so sick of not being in control of what I want or even myself. Im so sick of the numbers and name and going to school being scared and pushing people away. Im so sick of it, and I t would be so easy to go. I just want to go
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and I can't even leave this place. Im still sleeping with the blanket and there is no one left at all
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