hello!
- Locked due to inactivity on Apr 18, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: hello!
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Do you need to talk?
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^
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Only June_Roses knows who I am.
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i mean not really, i meant that as a joke. i didnt think anyone actually looked at the thread or anything. i mean im pretty much just lonely cuz my boyfriends busy and cant call so thats why im like just posting whats on my mind (even if i dont actually mean it) but i mean if yall wanna talk i would like to. i probably could vent if yall wanna listen
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I don't mind.
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Vent away
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so okay sorry if this takes a minute but. ive just been really stressed out about a few things but i feel like it started when i told my boyfriend something that happened between me and some other guy like i feel really bad about that. i literally feel like s---. so we have a long distance and we know that its going to be difficult and i just feel like im not everything that i could be for him, i love him but i just feel so bad about what happened. he tells me that i am perfect but i feel like i just am not what i could be.
could we talk like on a zoom so that way i could just speak? i just cant get my thoughts out fast enough whilst typing -
its stupid i know but i just feel really bad
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I can’t go on Zoom rn :(
It’s not stupid, a lot of people are probably upset about long distance relationships. I know that one day you’ll meet up with ur bf tho. -
;-;
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so to tell the whole story. both of us messed up. i feel both are at fault(mostly me rn). so when we first started talking like more than friends...wait back up so we decided to not actually date until we could actually be together in real life because (this was his idea) it would be more meaningful. i loved that decision. so like we facetime and all that jazz so i know hes real and im also real. but like we still do the i love you shiznizz and similar but
(further back) when our friendship started he was with his now ex and we were best friends i both of us would be like love you bro like we were cool. i knew that i liked him at some point, dont remember when but i told him that i liked him first and then he told me that he liked me im like oh s---! i dont remember the whole conversation but it was so nice. a few days after that he actually asked me out. i told him that id think about it and then i told him not yet because my dad wouldnt like me dating someone i dont know. i mean reasonable, yes. but did i listen? for the time yes but then we kept being friends even though we both know that we like each other. but then when it was me, his closest (my favorite of his) friend, and him in an xbox party i had called him a b---- because luc (my boyfriend) was s---ting on me being a sweat in Overwatch and hes like nah, you a b---- and i said something about he being a sweat and he pulled the big guns saying that he broke up with his girlfriend( he knows her in real life) for me. ifelt bad but we got over it by the end of the night like he apologized and he and copline, his friend, said in a text later that after i left that he talked with him about it and i thought it was nice.
fast forward a bit so during my quarantine time of two weeks couldnt leave the house at all Luc (currently boyfrienf) was my only human interaction pretty much and so i had not liked him mostly just kept it as friends for a while until then. and one night we were just in an xbox party watching netflix together and he just asked me if i still liked him because he was confused with the whole thing with me and my dad. i told him that i dint really know to be honest. i also told him that i did then but that i kinda wanted to just be friends but at the same time really liked him. and he just told me that he loved me and i lost it. he was literally my only focus for a while. everything's normal now but...
when we were about a moth into our little relationship-kinda not thingy, he cheated on me with who? his ex. he told me the next day that it happened. he called crying and saying that he was sorry before he even told me what happened. he said that he messed up and it had to do with his ex and begged me not to leave him. which no matter what, i wasnt i just jokingly said "what did you do? f--- her?" and this dude said yeah. BUT im over that now, he still apologizes for it and literally when hes drunk calling e he apologizes im like dude calm your ass but i dont know maybe i need to have a talk with him about this. i havent written about it before and now that i am literally spelling out my thoughts i see now that i need to speak with him about everything thats happened. thanks guys for offering to talk to me. i just realized something that i wouldnt have if you didnt contact me.... thank you so much -
and also continue my thread as normal
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i cant do what i wanted to rn but its all good i ll do it tomorrow ahh yes i do feel better though just having my thoughtsout on something. could have done it somewhere else but thats beside the point
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okay cool what to do now? im not intoxicated like last night :( but i also might be getting a fish. i i cleaned out my fish tank today and im happy. random transition of thought ngl
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life is quite good. im happy for no reason but also tired and dont want sleep.
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