new personal thread of DEATH & STORM
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 25, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: new personal thread of DEATH & STORM
-
Todays forecast: i hate myself, man
-
my dreams are cool and erratic and then I wake up and theres storm clouds in the sky, even when its sunny
-
in fact, all I can see is gray, wherever I look, even when Im the happiest i could be at a given moment. Im so sick.
-
one last thing for today. i almost got into a direct collision crash yesterday, I was 1 second from hell. Maybe I accidentally turned the wheel on my intended fate
-
staying away from stimulants has been easier as weeks go by cause Ive been feeling like I 'm on them regardless
-
Nausea incoming
-
Bruh my mental sky tonights got less stormclouds than it usually does. It aint sunny but its a lighter gray and theres a peeking sun. tomorrow I need to get up earlier. WILL. People are counting on me.
I always like to tell myself this: no need to feel too pushed down by life, since life itself doesnt live that long. what power is in that? WE think we're weak against life, but really WE are the strong ones constantly pushing ourselves to the ground. So also in that way WE are the long-lived. And still with our steady collective improvements, technically eternal
Go get em folks! Even if u hate yourself and your life (like me) dont try to adapt to life. Have life adapt to you. Because YOURE the life. -
And dont think this will be an easy change, trust me its still hard as hell for me, in fact my sky will still be filled with supercells tomorrow, probably this whole week, and this month, and this year, and 3 years after that. Doesnt mean I cant have those rare partly sunny days or partly cloudy nights that give to me more than the stormy days take away from me.
-
My pops will get p---- and skull me if I don't watch the damn inauguration even though I cant really afford to be available at noon?
-
f--- that song, man
-
Theres pain in my eyes but I feel it in my chest
-
why must we leak water out of our eye sockets? Why cant we just accept pain without succumbing to weakness?
-
I want to be away
-
Its as if ones normally full blown depression returns and smacks us hard when we finally recover from an addiction, last night I broke down and realized I DO need help and I Seriously need to treat the heart issues, problem is I dont think it can be cured. Its making me lose all ounces of happiness I have left. But Im scared cause I dont want to leave people I care about. All my buddies and my fam. Id jump in front of a bullet for some of them
-
Still alive, and got the tire fixer i needed. And some smokes for my pop of course. But the important thing is I'm alive
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
