Losing Hope and Sleep
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 12, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: Losing Hope and Sleep
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Ha. Fat. Chubby. Overweight. This'll show you.
Bit grosser than I'd hoped, but still. Does the job. -
Ah, food. You b------.
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Adios, better luck tomorrow
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s---. What a wreck.
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You okay, Ellie?
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Ya. Just hard to stop myself.
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What do you mean?
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Oops, forgot I was using this account from now on lol.
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At least I found the motivation to type, even if it was a childish argument. Still. It's something, at least.
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yawn
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WOW
CRAZY
INSANE
THAT WAS AN EXHAUSTING RUN WHOA -
ew negative first post lemme just
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it sorta makes me sad, that everyone I know has their own little gang, their go-to-person to talk to, to talk about, and to go straight to whenever their lonely, but I'm just kinda here.
Everyone has their best buddy, but though I feel like I have buddies, maybe I'm not their buddy.
I have no main crowd, I'm nobody's go to person, just someone that is conveniently around whenever I'm rarely needed, and when I'm satisfied their attention, I'm put back down in my corner until I'm to be used again. I'm only noticed when someone has nobody else.
But then suddenly, they all appear out of nowhere when I say that I'm lonely, and make me feel bad about myself when they whine about how they're always there for me, but then once they've made their point about how they're the best thing that's ever happened to me, it's back to the corner, and only needed for them, them, them.
I just want, just once, them to see me, and not just when they feel the need to scream their perfect friendless in my face when I say I don't have a good friend.
Because even if you think, just a little, that when I say "I'm lonely," or, "I wish I had someone to talk to," and you pretend to be my friend for a second, that it comforts me, or, makes me believe you're who you say you are, you're wrong. I'm as lonely as ever, with or without you. -
and when I'm satisfied their attention
and once I've satisfied their attention needs* -
perfect friendless
perfect friendness
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