do you ever
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 16, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: do you ever
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it's so embarrassing, it's a bad habit I have and it seems to ruin some of my connections with people, women who are considerably more of a catch than me
I just feel incredibly inadequate because I never had a good support system ever. I never had anyone giving me a healthy dose of hope or anything that could identify me as a normal, functioning female at all. I really can't identify myself anymore... It's really odd... It's more of just resentment because I was initially set for failure and now placed into some nearing competitive sphere of women who are just better than me, and have the power of beauty. When you're beautiful, you own the world because you have something to identify yourself by, and to have something to rationalize your goals and actions. You're born with a cushion into the world.
It just hurts knowing and looking at people, exposed to millions of girls that are just so much better than me
This can't be normal; my behavior and being exposed to constant stimulus
ig can't be normal for anyone
but tl;dr do you feel jealous of anyone or even the constant urge to prove to people that you aren't entirely a lost cause? -
I always felt insanely jealous towards people with lots of friends
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I think everyone feels jealous and envious of other people. It's one of those "the grass is always greeener on the other side," so we tend to look at other people and see what they have and want that for ourselves without realizing that our grass might be greener to someone else. I think it's natural to have insecurities especially nowadays, but it's important to not let them consume us. Once we start down this spiral of "I will never be good enough, everyone else is so much more prettier than I am, etc" we stop seeing our own beauty and we lose confidence, and most people are attracted to confidence.
But to answer your question: yes, I have been jealous of others -
When I was little, I was a 'keep up with the Jones's' type of person. Then my mom managed to get that out of me. But I've always been jealous of a certain kind of grace that everyone but me seems to have. I can't really explain it.
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But I agree with Apollo, it's mostly confidence. You don't have confidence in yourself, you don't think you're any good to anyone.
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eggaly- same
megan- i don't want to be rude but that's just pedestrian advice. i've heard it over and over, and it clearly doesn't work lmao. comparisons will always happen when we don't really know ourselves, again no central identity to look back for. jealousy is probably one of the most interesting things yet very easy to condense to somewhat understand ig
wdym by grace? -
Just the way they move compared to me.
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You're not being rude lol I agree with you. I think that we will always be comparing ourselves to others, but the thing is is that everyone does that and everyone has their own insecurities that might not be visible to others, but you think that it's a really big insecurity (if that makes any sense?) I think it's impossible to live a life without feeling insecure or jealous or envious of someone else
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People are usually too concerned with their own insecurities to notice other people's.
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are you a dancer or athlete? or are you just clumsy?
yes, which is why I ask myself repeatedly
what is the root cause of jealousy and envy without always leading to the most pandering of answers like DURRRR POVERTY DURRR WE NEED TO- like no. there must be a deeper exploration -
I'm not a dancer or an athlete. I'm not clumsy all the time. I can't really explain it.
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I honestly just think that it's part of human nature. Like it's something we can't really control and is just like any other emotion that we feel.
Or if you really wanna think deep about it, it probably has something to do with evolution and maybe we developed this as a result of that? Like we could've seen that someone else had this one thing that made their life better and easier and therefore they were most likely to survive. And if we didn't have that envy, then we wouldn't strive for the things they have and would therefore die out. But idk, never really thought too much about it -
dragons- hmm.. idk then
megan- i mean the last thing you said actually makes a lot of sense lmao. but it seems so grim and sinister... only a few are able to be born of good looks or genius and who can either create more elites or innovate, while the rest of us are just subject to striving our entire lives for something that will NEVER happen to any of us, to dodge our cosmic role of being an unremarkable being. -
Everyone has their own talents. No one's an unremarkable being. What're you good at?. And if you can't think of anything, then what do you like doing? And even then, if you still can't think of anything, what would you like to do? And don't answer nothing to any of these questions. If you know you're good at something, do more of it. Same for if you like doing something. And if it's something you've always wanted to do, strive and work towards it.
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I mean, that's basically survival of the fittest, yeah? It's cruel, but it's just how it is. However, I do think that beauty is more of a social thing because different cultures and people have different beauty standards and it's constantly changing. Like when it used to be considered beautiful for women to wear corsets to the point where their waists looked so unnatural and probably was harming their organs.
Or I remember about how this one area (in China I think) saw it beautiful for women to have really small feet and that the smaller shoe you could fit into, the better. So the moms and grandmas would literally break their little girls' feet so they could be molded and trained into a tiny shoe
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