2020 Time Capsule
Thread Topic: 2020 Time Capsule
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I see that.
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Dear Serial,
By 2022 you will be a great Colonary Artist and be making Al that good recipes.
Best of luck
Your 2020 self -
Dear future self,
I hope you stay out of trouble since you started a YouTube channel without anyone knowing. Hopefully it will get more love and attention and hopefully no one steals your art. Anyways, try to excel at everything since you were failing when you wrote this.
Sincerely your past self -
ReeseButtercup NoviceYo Yo Yo,
So, remember that year that was supposed to be super special? Well, it was terrible. I hope they've found a vaccine by now, and I hope you still remember quarantine, though it must've seemed really fast looking back. Wow, I'm already being cringey...
So you're in High School now? How's that going for you? Does your life still fixate entirely on books and pointless things? Do you still do terrible with Math and Science? Have they found you a replacement for E? And, have you found good friends? I really hope so.
Oh, and have you moved on from GTQ? And maybe wrote a good novel? I dreamed of publishing a book this year. Maybe you've written one, maybe even have it ready?
And how's the arts going? Did you get out a music video?
Right now the books I like are Keeper of the Lost Cities, The Selection, Percy Jackson and the Lunar Chronicles. I like Fiddler on the Roof, Peeps, Enchanted and sleep. And I still have a crush on you-know-who, hope you've moved on from that.
So currently I have nothing to do with my life and I'm feeling kinda hopeless. Graduation isn't gonna happen, and summer is looming ever closer. Speaking of which, how's your Dad?
Alright, that's enough angst for two years. I'm usually not this cringey but I suppose it's one of those days. Anyhoo, I hope you're dreaming big, and that you've stopped seeking approval. Peace from 2020,
Little Cress
P.S. Right now I have a very nerdy crush on Dex Diznee from Keeper. Feel free to cringe again. -
Hey future connor, watch this
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Dear future Pag,
Why not 'Paige'? Well, I'm trying to stray from that. I don't like being me anymore, so maybe using a variant will help me cope.
As of right now, I feel maybe there's something undiagnosed with me/possibly misdiagnosed with something, when it's really something else. I'm very unsure, and I hope you will have an answer for me.
I've never been in such a rut before in my life, over half a year now. My mood swings are getting more frequent and intense. I can go from being happy and determined, to suicidal and depressed, then become filled with anger with violent thoughts. All in one day, or even just hours. I lash out on everyone for no reason, or do things I normally wouldn't think are right, which leaves me with guilt that makes me very suicidal. I'm growing more paranoid. I spend most of my time thinking about how people respond to me, and if I pissed them off. I can't go to my school any more, all I can hear is their laughter. I can't tell which is them actually laughing at me, and what is in my head. I have a hard time leaving my room, I swear I hear my family talking about me. I get too afraid to go down. Sometimes the unintelligible TV voices from my grandma/uncle's room are warped in my mind into my family's voices, talking about me. Saying horrible things.
I don't really know where I am, it's like my soul left my body. The gears in my brain are turning much slower, and my memory gets worse every day. When I get really stressed, I start to stutter, and I also have a rough time forming basic sentences. Sometimes I get this temporary semi amnesia. I'll forget where I am, even though I subconsciously know. I'll ask myself questions I already know. Usually I know I'm in a dream world I built when stress, but I'm not there. I know I'm not.
I feel like I'm at war with my body. I can't really explain it, but my body is....diseased? Cursed, maybe? I don't care what I eat, because no matter how much I diet, I know my stomach will always be this ugly. I don't care to excercise, because I know no matter how 'toned' or 'strong' my arms/legs get, they'll always be so gross. I want to cut my arms and legs off, all the time. It won't matter what they're replaced with, because it will automatically be better than what I am currently. It's not my actual limb, so I'll like it more. Every part of me is so bad, because it's part of me. That's what is horrible about it. My sense of self worth is gone. I feel so worthless, that I miss everything that traumatized me. I want to be traumatized even more.
And now my mother is probably gonna die of cancer, grandpa's Alzheimer's is getting worse, and I wouldn't be surprised if father goes back to his old ways.
Tell me it gets better. I hope you read this, not understanding how you were this way. Tell me it all will be okay. Tell me how stupid and edgy I sound. If you need help, please get it. And hey, you're probably going to be more beautiful than you are right now. Are you gonna get those bangs? Maybe even a girlfriend? Okay, maybe I'm getting into fantasies. I'd like that, though.
Did you find a hobby?
Get some more dolls?
Maybe even some 50s dresses?
How are you feeling?
Who are your good friends?
I hope you'll read this, be here to see it, haha.
~Past Pag -
My memory is still super s---ty, so it looks like that hasn't changed & probably won't change anytime soon. :') Sorry, past me.
Drummer boy didn't work out. Actually, a lot of things didn't work out. And our senior year went to s---, thanks to Covid-19. But to be honest? You're kind of glad. There was a lot going on in your head space, and you were struggling with depression and motivation. You would have probably failed your art classes if you hadn't gotten automatically graduated.
Things have been really weird. People that you never expected to talk to again came back into your life. But they're different now. It's nice, really. Sometimes, you let your anxiety get the best of you, but you're (trying) to attend therapy. Hopefully you're going to get better at taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally. You're going to have to have your s--- together if you're going to make it through college!
It's really rough for me to determine what would be important to you or not, so I guess I'll try to outline some other highlights?
-Attending community college in fall
-Garrison came down for the second time, and we're praying he'll be able to come down a third time. Maybe he'll drag along others
-You acquired a debit card & you've managed to spend literally $200-$300 since you got it the week after your birthday.. and your parents don't know yet :') let me know if they find out and how the backlash goes.
-In some ways, things are better than they were. And in other ways, they are not. But I hope that it gets better. Your therapist says that we need to "leave everything to time," because not everything can be fixed. I can only hope it applies to everything we have, and will, face
-You had throat problems recently and went to urgent care. Apparently, we seem to have 1 big health problem every year. It's still not healed yet. You're miserable. But hopefully it clears up soon and you'll forget about it the same way you forgot about your spontaneous lung collapse
-You made some really cool artwork. Please don't give up on it this time
Oh, and uh.. Get better at conversations. You have so many people willing to talk to you. Don't be so forgetful. Don't make everyone else be first to engage. You can do better. On god.
I really wish I knew what all to say, but I don't. I've never been good with words to myself, only ever words to others. But that's okay! Hopefully you'll have more to say and can remember/reflect on these things.
Love you, kind of. -
Ima redo mine, because I have a lot more to say.
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♡Dear future self,♡
I have some questions for you.
So here's my questions I have for future self (I want you to answer them if you're still on GTQ two years from now):
1. Did you find someone who treats you like a person, not an object?
2. Have your grades got better?
3. Is the bully situation better?
4. How did the big move go, if you moved at all? Was it stressful? Or were you just as excited when you first found out you moved?
5. Are you better looking?
6. Are you known for something else at your new school? Like maybe a popular kid.
7. Do your parents let you walk to the bus stop by yourself? I sure hope so because it was draining to be made fun of for mom walking to the bus stop with you (no offense ma).
8. Are you more less shy in school?
9. Have you participated in any other musical production after Shrek the Musical?
10. DID YOU GET TO DYE YOUR HAIR?
That's all I have to ask. I hope that I get the answers that I was hoping for.
Sincerely,
your past self. -
Hi future self,
Right now it is April 27, 2020. I am currently sitting on the piano bench. It is 15:01 right now. It is right before my piano lesson at 15:15. Are you taking AP English now, or did you decide that it’s too hard? Right now I’m worrying about the paper in history class. I still need to research more stuff. I’m sure that you have done much harder papers in APUSH last year. Are you taking AP Psych this year or next year? You better take it or be taking it now or else. How many hours is your record for piano. Are you still in contact with W (K aS) <- slowww
Don’t tell me you’ve fallen back into your old habits you know what I mean
I’ll be disappointed and ashamed and sad for you
How is SAT stuff going?? Which colleges are you applying to?
I hope you’ve become a better person and are slightly less whiny
Have a great life -> CREATE A GREAT LIFE UWU
how is writing going
Bye farewell spectrum is the awesome thing
Your past self,
Sincerely me,
FluffyEtini aka Just_Fluffy
I hope you’re not hacked again best wishes I’m sure -
15:08 now
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Oh wait I forgot how’s it going with learning Russian please tell me you’re done with Russian 1 at least. Hopefully done with Russian 2 as well.
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your aloowed to forget things on here? lol
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Dear loser,
die in a hole
-Sincerely loser -
hi 21 y-o bea, hows drinking legally treating you?
I hope you don't get mad that I didn't write much here.
I hope you're happy and safe. Take care.
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