~*~Axels Universe~*~
- Locked by axelbeans on Jan 1, '21 12:59amReason: old
Thread Topic: ~*~Axels Universe~*~
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my heart breaking in a way i cannot describe rn i really want to be okay for once.
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i think i’m gonna do a quick journaling because i can’t keep this inside right now LMAO
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oo, ello axel! 💓
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5:38 AM
I almost can’t help it sometimes. I have so many remaining problems from my past that I never got to heal from or even focus on for a second. I hate to admit it, but I’m so insecure. I can be jealous because of that; I wish I could talk about how I feel in that space, but I literally feel like I’ve been programmed to be silenced. I hate this. I hate that so much. I want to speak more than ever at times, but I can never speak a single word. My stupid brain doesn’t let me. Along with that, I feel as though my love and care is never reciprocated. I know some actions are results of outside forces, but damn. As if those outside forces wouldn’t strain what I have. The fact these conditions exist are reason enough for me to walk away at times. How could they be a current thing when you know and watched some things unfold?? How am I supposed to sit down and watch this shït unfold knowing my heart has been torn the same way.
I also cannot stand to perpetuate in these unhealthy habits. I am so scared this just means the end.. But if it does, how genuine could this have been?? I wish things were different because all of this sits on my heart in a way that deflates me in all forms. I don’t want a future without you as my best friend. But all these bad things... they just can’t go on either. Universe, God, spirit, ANYONE. I just want that positive change so badly. The one positive change would mean I can talk to him, and the nasty conditions wouldn’t exist. Somebody. Please. -
oh lmao hii emy!! you’re up early!!
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more like i’m up late 😅
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okay mood
i guess all i had to do last night was just push my limits and pass tf out LMAO -
i woke up nervous y’all,,, i really really did LMAO
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i woke up smelling like a campfire
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is that good?
i have never been around a campfire LMAO -
i’m gonna decide to not care because this is too much for my stupid heart to handle
also new page LOL -
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