Come, and Join Me
- Locked by Faceless Knight on Aug 1, '20 12:10amReason: Owner's request
Thread Topic: Come, and Join Me
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Simon looked from one of them to the other, and shook his head. "When did you two get so buddy-buddy? Last night it was all, 'I'm the most elite warrior!' 'No, I'm the most elite warrior!' And today you're playing Halo and giving each other props for good ideas."
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(didn't put all of it.)
Simon looked from one of them to the other, and shook his head. "When did you two get so buddy-buddy? Last night it was all, 'I'm the most elite warrior!' 'No, I'm the most elite warrior!' And today you're playing Halo and giving each other props for good ideas."
"We realized we have something in common," said Jace. "You annoy us both." -
"That's not necessary," said Jace. "I can keep a perfectly good eye on Simon, thank you. He's my neophyte Downworlder to mock and boss around, not yours."
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"You can't have two fathers."
"Sure you can," Simon said. "Who says you can't? We can buy you one of those books they have for little kids. Timmy Has Two Dads. Except I don't think they have one called Timmy Has Two Dads and One of Them Was Evil. That part you're just going to have to work through on your own."
Jace rolled his eyes. "It's fascinating," he said. "You know all these words, and they're all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don't make any sense." -
Two Jaces eyed him-one the real Jace, the other his reflection in the windowpane. "You can't just skip feeding, you know."
Simon shrugged. "I'm eating now."
"Yeah," Jace said, "but you're a vampire. Blood isn't like food for you. Blood is ... blood."
"That's very illuminating." Simon flung himself into the armchair across from the TV; it had probably once been a pale gold velvet but was now worn to the grayish pile. "Do you have a lot of other profound thoughts like that? Blood is blood? A toaster is a toaster? A Gelatinous Cube is a Gelatinous Cube?" -
"It's a joke, Isabelle. He's the Count. He likes counting. You know. 'What did the Count eat today, children? One chocolate chip cookie, two chocolate chip cookies, three chocolate chip cookies...'"
There was a rush of cold air as the door of the restaurant opened, letting in another customer. Isabelle shivered and reached for her black silk scarf. "It's not realistic."
"What would you prefer? 'What did the Count eat today, children? One helpless villager, two helpless villagers, three helpless villagers...'" -
"Now," Isabelle said, "what do you suppose they are?"
Simon squinted at them. They both stared back at him, their lashless eyes like empty holes. "They kind of look like evil lawn gnomes." -
"You need to be bitten at some point during the process."
"Why?"
"Vampire saliva has ... properties. Transformative properties."
"Yech," said Simon.
"Don't 'yech' me. You're the one with the magical spit." -
"What, doesn't Eric count as people?"
"I'll get back to you on that later," -
"I'm taking that away from you before you get to the India part," said Jace, retrieving his phone. "Magnus in a sari. Some things you don't ever forget."
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"Having rock-star problems may be the closest I ever get to being an actual rock star."
"No one told you to call your band Salacious Mold, my friend." -
"I didn't even think you liked me all that much," said Simon. "Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?"
"I thought it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house at night and throw up in his mailbox." -
"Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?"
"What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying." -
(this is very pleasing)
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(I like doing it)
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