all of my wishes, just as i had pictured them
- Locked by Br0wnieBunny on Jan 2, '19 11:40pmReason: .
Thread Topic: all of my wishes, just as i had pictured them
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speaking of suicide, living kind of sucks. i just wish that there would be a more comfortable way to be monitored or something. i went to the hospital. it sucks. i'm stripped naked except for a robe and hospital underwear, and wool socks. i can't close the door to my room, i have someone checking my vitals every half hour, and someone watches me when i shower and eat. the beds are tiny and the hospital is always cold. i had to sleep with 10 blankets. all of my belohgings were confiscated. i had to sleep in a wheelchair until a room was available for me. nobody trusted me. it was madly uncomfortable.
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this is stupid, but if there was a place where i could go where the beds were comfortable, there was no pressure and the staff actually spoke to you nicely, and you could take things slow and it was a supportive environment. i was judged and degraded at the hospital.
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if i could go to a facility that looked cozy and felt like home, and had in-house counselors, good food, and a healthy environment with no overwhelming responsibilities- kind of like a vacation, except you work towards recovery, that would be incredible. i know it's not really realistic, but some people who are also depressed like me that i know have told me they don't talk to anyone about it because they don't like going to the hospital.
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that's my small mental health rant, or story, or whatever. i'm kind of sad at the moment but i have no overwhelming feelings of wanting to harm myself or anything. i'll be okay. it's just because i'm alone. (but i don't have anything to harm myself with. all of that stuff was taken by my mom.) once my mom comes back, i think i'll be able to focus more on her company than anything else.
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Yeah. I've never gone to a hospital and don't plan on it because of all the bad things I hear
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don't go to the hospital. it's cold, uncomfortable and the worst. i'll never go back to the hospital.
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hopefully my situation improves. i want nothing more than to graduate. that's one of my sole reasons for living, besides my family. i go back to school in two days. i'll also get to speak with c tomorrow. it's something to look forward to, keep myself busy and all.
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health and happiness. that's my goal for this year. i'm not in a good place right now, but hopefully i will be towards the end of the year.
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I hope you get better bb
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thank you. i hope you stay/become happy and healthy too.
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Oh I'm not but I appreciate it
I just like things that distract my mind from the never ending internal suffering caused by things we don't even understand -
true true 😔
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So after about 20 seconds of meeting someone I immidietly gained attraction to them despite knowing almost nothing about them, which might be a pretty big contribution to the big depression that's been hanging over me for years, causing me pain and anguish because I never learn my lesson and trust people too easily and get a crush on someone way too easily, and always feel horrible whenever it goes wrong, but never do anything about it
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im sorry. i don't know what i can say or do to make it better for you, but you can vent to me whenever
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keturah, i'm sorry. i keep ignoring your attempts to talk to me. i haven't talked to anyone 1 on 1 in a long time. i'm really sorry but i don't have the mental or emotional capacity to hold a decent conversation. and sorry to ello that i can't talk decently either lol.
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