The Diary
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 7, '18 3:54am
Thread Topic: The Diary
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what game?
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Instalife
Oh :P -
I might have to miss school again tomorrow but I'm going to try my best not to
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Hi. Wyd?
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sorry. dad wanted to watch death note.
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After watching that movie, I feel differently about some things in my life. Recently, and I'm not sure anyone has been able to tell, but I haven't really been myself. I've been really depressed lately. My grades are falling and I haven't been taking care of myself. It isn't because of any single event. I've sort of been saying to myself, recently, "I don't need to try very hard because I'm going to kill myself soon anyways", but I've always been too scared and then I've gotten more depressed and it's been getting worse and worse for the past few weeks. How I feel now, though, is different. I don't know what it was in that film, if it was one line they said or the entire idea of the film. It isn't something I can properly summarize in a sentence or paragraph. I can't really put it into words, that is. All I can really say is that I want to try. Even though it may be temporary because I just now watched the movie, in this moment, I'm okay. I want to try hard again and do my work in class and eat food and drink water and sleep and clean and do everything that I was able to do before I was sad again. I even thought about saying hello to my old friends instead of avoiding them and resenting them. I'm going to get really bad like that again. I know I am. But right now, I want to try. I've gotten so close to doing something terrible but I didn't. I should be grateful that I have a life to live. I'm saying this here for a lot of reasons. I want to apologize for the way I've always acted and I don't want to be that way anymore. I want everyone to know that I'm trying and I'm going to keep trying. I want to share these feelings of hope, though they may be fleeting. And I want to remind myself when I wake up in the morning how it felt to want to try again. Maybe I'll listen this time.
Goodnight, everyone. -
Things I've done today:
*ate breakfast
*showered
*went to school
*stopped looking at the ground as much in the hallway
*said good morning to the bus driver -
oh I forgot one very very important thing!!
*texted Brent -
someone said @everyone in a server and I thought you had messaged me orz
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Sorry :(
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*barry white voice* ohhhh yeeeaahhhhh
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guys I just had a one year old baby fall asleep in my arms hecccckk
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Sesame Street is just as weird as I remember
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who tf told gramma I'm anemic
I'm not anemic I think
am I
what the f---
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