hey friends!
- Locked due to inactivity on Oct 11, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: hey friends!
-
so theres a long story to all of this and im sure many of you either dont remember me or are confused. i know the last time anyone saw me on here, someone made a whole drama about how I had passed away.
the truth is, short and simple, i was very ill at the time. ill enough to die? well, no, not in short term at least. but I was ill, and I wanted some time away from everyone.
I was in an extremely abusive relationship with someone. as you can imagine that combined with my illness was easy to take advantage of. they didnt want me to have any more connection to the outside world anymore, so they came on here and created this whole story about me being dead so I couldn't come on here or anywhere else without seeming like I was some attention seeking liar. it first happened here, then they began taking over my other social media accounts and forcing me to lie about the situation as well to others.
when I got better from my illness a few months later and the issue with that other person was taken care of, i felt awful realizing the mess the other person created. I felt awful knowing I caused pain because of a lie that I was forced to participate in. so I went silent for a few months and tried to think of how to go about explaining what happened. its been a year and I still dont know what exactly to say, but because I popped in today for the first time in months I figured id just get it over with.
i wish I had cleared this up sooner. but I was really scared. i didnt want you all to see me negatively, especially knowing so many of you had so much respect for me, and seem like i had willingly lied to you. i was scared of what that man would do to me if I reached out for help, etc. idk. my thoughts are really jumbled up, and at this point i just feel shame for not clearing this up sooner. im sure lysander has told many of you already that I was ill, but not dead, just a victim of someone who wanted to take advantage of me. but i felt like that isnt enough and that i, myself, needed to publicly come forward and clear stuff out myself.
i wont get any more specific, you guys dont need to know my whole trauma story and see all the receipts and s---. its been awful and I dont want to relive that.
ive been struggling with this burden and these emotions for a long time, but at the same time ive been healing. my illness is under control. ive managed to get into one of the top universities in the country. ive found a happy life outside of social media completely. ive sought help from others to recover from the abuse i underwent. etc. my life feels fulfilling for once, even if at times it feels like everything is crumbling.
i know some of you will tell me to not apologize for something I was forced to do, however taking this long to explain myself and relieve what happened was my own fault. for that, I sincerely apologize and I hope you can find it within yourselves to forgive me for the terrible decision I made. i dont know about my future here, but i know id like to pop in from time to time again like I did before this whole mess happened.
i love you all and im so sorry that this happened. i really, really should have come out sooner and said something.
- gio
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