You clicked your heels and wished for me
- Locked due to inactivity on Nov 5, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: You clicked your heels and wished for me
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i printed out the financial aid request form oh m y god h my god
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That was so f---ing stupid. That was the stupidest thing I've ever f---ing done.
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I almost burnt my house down trying to burn a letter to you, Jill. Sorry for being blunt about who this post is about. I just thought you'd find it funny that you could have killed me tonight.
I was relapsing. Cutting. I tried everything to curve it. Washing my face. Writing. Shaving. Eating. Nothing was doing it and I had so much I wanted to say to you so I wrote it down. Front and back. Who f---ing sheet of college rule paper with my tiny writing. I lit a candle earlier. I wanted to burn it. Usually people only burn letters to the dead. Eh. Same difference.
The paper caught so quick. I didn't fold it. I panicked. It was burning so f---ing fast. I dropped it. Half of it was leaning over the side of the candle. It was starting to fall so I used tweezers to put it in. The flames were so high and I was so scared. I can't even describe how scared. My sisters are asleepin the next room and oh my god they could have died. Maybe I'm being dramatic but f---. You f---ed me up so bad. I'm happy that you're happy and all but s---, it hurts that you can still do this to me. f---.
I got blood on my hands and elbow from one of my cuts while I was freakingout. I still hhaven't rinsed them off.
I just want to be okay. I want to be happy. I want someone to love me. I deserve that. -
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