OkAY I JUST WOKE UP
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 8, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: OkAY I JUST WOKE UP
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NO ONE WILL SEE THIS BUT YESTERDAY WAS DAY ONE OF THESPIAN COMPETITION AND
And I was REALLY f---ing sick. I threw up on the bus to school. Tried to rest it off in the nurse's office, went to first period for the last ten minutes and then left to throw up in the bathroom. BUT b---- I WAS GOING. AIN'T NO FLU GONNA STOP ME. So I go to second period and explain to the teacher that if I get up and run out, I'm going to throw up. He's like okay, but you have a class meeting this period. (All the juniors go to the auditorium to talk about GPA and absentee statistics.) So I say f--- that and go to the clinic to rest. We're leaving for Thespian in the middle of third. I'm just gonna rest until then. I throw up multiple times. Mr. Pert, the sponsor for drama club, arrives to school from a snack run. (He had a sub. I have his class first, third and forth)
He sees me in the clinic and he and the nurse go to talk. They both decide I need to go home. She calls my mom. I'm sobbing at this point- Maybe it was the whole vomiting pure acid thing, but I was really upset. Literally sobbing. Ipaid SEVENTY DOLLARS to go to ccompetition. I'm not missing it! f--- that! Plus one of my competitions was happening. The one I care most about. Playwright. They play I had SLAVED AND STRESSED OVER for waaay too long was read, scored, and if I didn't go to the interview I'd be disqualified. Obviously I'm sick as f--- but between the money and how hard I worked... I tell Mr. Pert and the nurse that I'm feeling better. He's not buying it. I'm all blotchy, my eyes are red, but for some reason... He lets me go. The female chaperone is not impressed with my "I'm good" act. Tries to convince me to go home. b----, no. Relax. I'm fine.
I AM NOT FINE. Mr. Pert has to pull the van over at the creepy old building for me to throw up. Victoria is live streaming this. Parys is trying not to sympathy vomit. I'm trying to get it all out so that we don't end up being late. No one is mad at me, though. They all seem to understand that I need to go to this.
We get to the college that Thespian is held at. I vomit in the bushes, Parys, Olivia and Victoria all stay with me while everyone else goes to sign our school in. People are walking past. Everyone is concerned. I'm so f---ing embarrassed. I literally want to curl in on myself and sob. Everything hurts. I'm miserable.
But. The show must go on. I refuse to give up and have someone come get me. I'm already there. I go and get a seat in the auditorium. At two, Parys and I leave the one acts performed by other schools and head to where playwright is held. We go in together. Parys's interview is right after mine.
One of the judges has the same last name as me. I remark that this is cool and am told by another judge "that won't help you."
Oh f---. I'm so f---ed. They hated it, I came here for nothing, I'm a disappointment to my troupe---
They LOVED IT. They actually say this. The first judge tells me that he can't think of ANYTHING for me to improve on. The second suggests playing with the comedic subplot a bit more. (This is the one with the same last name) He tells me how to fix the formatting errors. He doesn't believe that it's the first play I've ever wrote. He says it's so much easier to read than most playswrote by high school students. The third one tells me to make the ending a bit more of a surprise. He says he figured it out- That was the point,I think but I don't say that. After all, they're here to give me advice. He concludes that with a bit of tweaking, I could publish and sell my play. I am overwhelmed at this point. They go on to ask me if I'm interested in writing. I admit that I want to be an author, that I've wrote short stories before and am in the middle of mapping out a novel. The first judge tells me about a free publishing program. WRITES DOWN THE NAME IN HIS COPY OF MY PLAY. Iam internally sscreaming. The one who may be related to me tells me to enail him to discuss some things. He tells me that he's the director of Thespian District One. I'm floating. This is a dream. We chat a bit more. His uncle does the genealogy stuff for their family. Mine does ours. He wants them to compare. Oh my god. Oh my god. I am so f---ing elated. I thank them and switch places with Parys.
They don't like her play. They're brutal. She cries afterwards. We talk for a while and she concludes that she'll rewrite it and take the same play next year. I'm proud of her. I'm suddenly not proud of myself. How can I be so happy when she's so crushed? I don't feel sick anymore. Just deflated.
Mr. Pert asks us how it went. I speak for Parys because she aays if she does she'll cry. His attention is automatically on her. He doesn't ask any of the details of my interview. I feel like I shouldn't brag about how well mine went with Parys crying next to me. So I don't. I'm jealous.
Maybe a little angry too. Parys is good at other things. Acting for one. I am not good at acting, can't I have this one talent? Why do I feel bad for being better? If our places were reversed, I don't think she would feel like I do.
But I'm not going to dwell on that. We get our scores Saturday night. I'm excited. I don't care about Mr. Pert's attention. I'll settle for emailing the director. I'll let myself be proud. I'll tell Seth today and he'll be elated. He took a play last year. He didn't this year.
I'm happy. A little jealous, but happy.
And then I get home. Exhausted. It's only 7:30. I pass out. I wake up and... Vomit.
I'm still going.
Guys. If you love doimg something. If you're good at it. Don't let fear of failure hold you back.
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