private chatting thread 2.0
- Locked by Br0wnieBunny on Dec 31, '16 11:27pmReason: abandoning this thread and remaking for the new year! hehe
Thread Topic: private chatting thread 2.0
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i should have just took painting
it seems like a lot more fun -
when you remember your dad out of nowhere and kinda start breaking down in tears :/
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i remember this one time. i got an award at school and my mom and dad both showed up for the ceremony. my dad smiled at me and told me how proud he was for me, and placed his hand on my shoulder. i have a picture. he kept the certificate and put it up on the fridge. it was up for a while until i took it down. i miss my dad. i miss those happy moments with him.
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i remember we took him to this donuts with dad thing before school at school in the 5th grade. he drank coffee with us and ate muffins and donuts and he'd laugh and we'd laugh and he'd give us a hug and tell us he hoped we had a great day at school.
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i remember having hope that he would beat that cancer. he already did it once. he had skin cancer before i was born and beat it easily. we thought because he was a strong, determined man, he would fight for the family and beat brain cancer. i remember having that hope that one day my dad would be okay again, and he would beat cancer. he would live. but he didn't. he died. he died too soon. he was a really good man. we disagreed on some things, but i really really loved him. that was my dad. and i miss him so much. i don't know how much longer i'll be able to go on like this without completely breaking down. its taking a toll on me.
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i want my dad here. i want him to hug me and tell me how much he loves me, and that everything is going to be okay. that would be really great right now.
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but he can't. because he's busy watching over us in heaven. god is taking care of him now. mamaw is there too. mamaw is taking care of him as well as the rest of his side of the family. he's safe and happy and at peace, not suffering from any sickness or cancer. and that's all i want for him.
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i'm not gonna go any deeper than this. i think this is fine, stopping right here. this is all stuff i've already shared in the past. nothing you guys don't know. but i don't think i need to talk about this anymore for now. it's just making me feel really sad just thinking about it
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okay. i guess i'll clear my posts
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