amaranthine.
- Locked by Br0wnieBunny on Aug 15, '16 3:31pmReason: Same reason as last time. I will no longer be posting in this thread, and as such will be locking it so that trolls can't bump it for spam.
Thread Topic: amaranthine.
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ahh I see
yeah, that's how me and my sister are too. she was the first person who really knew that I was gay. I told my parents too, but they didn't take me seriously. but my sister did.
I do love my sister a lot. she's can really be a b---- sometimes, but she's funny and kind-hearted, i'm just worried what her friends might make her do. she's only 14 and already drunk alcohol and I think she smoked weed too. its unfortunate. I don't want her to go down that path.
right?? I mean a break is nice but I like winter better
there's no better feeling to me than having many inches of snow on the ground and watching it fall at night and not going to bed at all and then falling asleep at around 5 and waking up and finding out there's no school because its a snow day
oddly specific I know but that personally is really pleasant to me -
!!!!! Fff---
its almost 5:30!! where has the time gone?
I hope you don't mind, but I really need to get to bed
I can't mess up my sleeping schedule again
Sorry, goodnight -
(it's cool dawg I'll talk to you later
sleep well) -
i had a really weird dream
so i was spending the night at my friend's house, right? don't know which friend, but me and my sister (who was also staying) were going to go to the swimming pool with her. my legs were all prickly and i wanted to go, so i brought a razor with me and some shaving cream and i was shaving my legs in the shower, right?
all of a sudden my parents showed up to come and pick me up. both my mom and my dad. i was shocked to see my dad there. apparently he came back to life. my mom and dad both told us they were coming to pick us up, but i told them that they shouldn't have came for a few more hours.
they began to mock me out of nowhere. saying that i'm so stupid and so wishy-washy, how it's ridiculous that i never wanna go outside but here i am trying to hang out with someone. i asked them why it's a bad thing. they never answered my question. they proceeded to make fun of me.
my dad said to me, "i bet now that i'm gone, all you've been doing is getting high and getting wasted, right? i'm so disappointed in you. you're such a bad child."
i said, "no! no, i haven't... i haven't done anything! no alcohol, or weed, or anything!" and my mom looked at me and said, "why don't you start? your sister and brother's already doing it, i feel kinda bad that you're left out."
i said to her, "no, i don't want to start. that stuff can really mess up your body! i don't want to." and my mom frowned and said, "why not? it's what all the cool kids are doing. what, are you such a recluse that you're not even gonna wanna smoke a bowl with me?" and i said, "mom, it isn't really cool. i don't... i don't wanna get high or drunk!" and she said, "you're going to do it because i told you to. because i'm your mother." and i said, "no! i don't wanna do it!"
she tried to persuade me, saying how i'm such a loser and i'll be so much cooler and more chill and such a better person if i picked up on weed and drugs. she pulled out an alcohol bottle out of nowhere. and a bag of weed. "do it." she said.
my dad looked at me and said, "what? it's not like you have anything to live for. you might as well do it." i told him no. i told my mom no. they looked at each other and shook their heads. they began to mock me again. i started crying. i didn't want to do it! why didn't they understand? am i such a disappointment to them that it doesn't matter whether or not i throw my body away?
my mom took my hand in hers and the lit cigarette she had in the other and started burning my fingers with it. my dad held me down while she did this. i cried some more. my sister heard that i was crying and rushed into the bathroom to see what was going on. "what's wrong?" she asked, to which she received no verbal reply, instead saw me being held down by my dad and burned and mocked and ridiculed by my mother.
my crying got so bad that i started choking. i was choking and suffocating on my own tears. the bathwater began to overflow and my sister tried to pull my parents off of me so i wouldn't suffocate. but she was too late. i closed my eyes in that miserable moment, my breathing finally stopping.
i died.
and then i woke up. -
sorry i just needed to get all of that out there.
and if you do read it (which i can't blame you if you don't), i'm sorry it wasn't so.... so descriptive. it's hard to remember dreams you had really good. sorry.
it was a horrible dream. i don't want to dream it ever again. -
is it some kind of symbolism.... ? i hope my dad doesn't hate me. i hope he's not in heaven looking down at me and shaking his head. i don't want to be a disappointment to him.
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sigh.
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oh god!!that reminds me of a dream i had a few years back
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oh. what was the dream about?
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i cant remember very well,but it was scary as f--- considering im a vivid dreamer
i was crying,and running through my old house.my step dad,mom,and dreamed had all been killed by this guy that reminded me a bit of alex from marble hornets in the last entry,but this was before i even knew about marble hornets.
anyways,a kinda tallish,tan guy with brown hair and a brown beard wearing a black tshirt and jeans was chasing me through my old house.i ran into my room and slammed the door,and locked it.i hid in my closet until he broke down the door,and then went into my closet.he said something that i cant remember,but all i know is he stabbed me in my stomach,i woke up crying and my stomach hurt,so i looked down and there was blood all ovet my stomach and i was hiding in my closet.
helL ON EART H -
BRO????
that's creepy as all hell..... like dang...... -
ah!!!!!!!! ARE SEIKO AND SONOSUKE GONNA FIGHT TO THE DEATH
I'M SO SCARED -
yeah
like sometimes i start bleeding randomly
unless i unconsiously cut myself or something idk
seriously tho
i do go unconscious a lot,especially with schizophrenia
eh by chance that might be whats going on
but other than that
idk -
bleed randomly?? have you seen a doctor for this?
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no
if i told my parents
id be in hell aka mental hospital
it inly happens when im at my grandfather's house,he has these huge woods beside his house that i used to go in until that day i got lost so i kinda keep my distance
i doubt that has anything to do with it thou
unless...
GHOOOOOSSSSTTSSSS
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