Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 6, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
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I mean actually it hurts being left alone but it's so much easier to pretend I don't care.
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trigger: probably more depressing than even my usual stuff, so be careful; the last thing I want is to trigger someone
Tbh I don't just want to die. I want to suffer. I want to overwhelm myself with such violent pain that my mind goes blank. I want to be covered in my own blood. I want to feel myself dying every second as I'm soaked in tears and praying with all I have that the pain will stop. I went to hurt myself until I end up begging cor my own life...and then, as I've finally found it, my will to live, I want it to be washed away as well as the very breath from my lungs. That would be the ideal death for me. That's all that I deserve. -
I saw the guy on his bike today tho
He was playing something metal -
I woke up with a tummyache fantastic
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The only reason I've dated so many people is because it keeps me distracted from how lonely I really am. I've cheated, too. Mostly on online girls. When they aren't enough but I'm not willing to let them go, I just find a real girl. That's how I've always operated, sometimes having even more than two at a time.
I never cheated on Kristina, but she was the last person I dated that I didn't really like that way. She was always like a sister toe, but I was bored, and I always knew she had a crush on me. Besides, it had only been a month since my last person and I was bored.
I obviously don't act like that anymore. Even when Miranda had a crush on me and even though Michaela flirts like crazy, I'm still with the same person. This is the longest I've been with anyone. Eleven months may not be so much to some people, but it is to me, who's been jumping from person to person since middle school. -
I monologue more than Komaeda
How fitting -
covered in thread fragments and fabric pieces from who knows where
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Really just disappointed that I got so excited to show you the dress and you were gone
It's not your fault tho
It's an ugly dress anyway -
Sethy! -Hugs tightly- Sorry i've not been on gmail lately. Schools being trouble-
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I had a dream that I found the most perfect Barbie. She looked exactly like the doll I was wanting to use for the outfit I'm designing. She had waist long curly hair that was black with very subtle hints of brown. Her skin was as dark as a 100% cocoa bar. Her eyes were like a dark chestnut. For her outfit, she wore an off shoulder, frilly white crop top with a red hem that matched her ruffled red skirt that came above her knees. She had gold heels, and her hair was decorated with gold ornaments (idk really what to call them). The hem of her skirt was a sparkly gold, as I recall, and she had gold hoop earrings to match. She was beautiful. She was perfect.
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Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah -
I was drunk and it didn't mean a thing
Stop thinking about
The bullets from my mouth
I love the things you hate about yourself
Just finished a daydream
Who were you tryna be?
Then the time for being sad is over
And you miss 'em like you miss no other
And being blue is better than being over it (over it)
No one wants you when you have no heart and
I'm sitting pretty in my brand new scars and
You'll never know if you don't ever try again
So let's try
Let's try
Let's try -
Everything hurts
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It hurts so bad that I had to bite my finger to keep from crying out in pain.
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And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
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