Land of Stars and Echoes
Thread Topic: Land of Stars and Echoes
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humor me a little
what separates a tasteful emo from a dead sincere emo? clothing, music, behavior? -
I think it's really just how you choose to express your feelings
see "I hate being alive no one loves me life is terrible someone come listen to me talk about the same problems I've had for weeks that I'm bringing on myself and how much they make me want to kill myself and by the way I AM going to kill myself so everyone come tell me how great I am" as opposed to literally anything that isn't that -
dead sincere wasn't a good descriptor
I'm not sure what a better word is
maybe performative -
ahh okay
how would you propose a "performative emo" express their feelings instead? -
I would say they need to be more honest with their feelings, more straightforward
it's hard to know when to be worried about someone that says they're going to kill themselves every night, and it's impossible to help someone that wants their problems to be impervious
when I was in that phase, I know I was given a lot of helpful advice that I shrugged off with weak excuses because I wanted the attention that came with the misery
but I was a boring and frankly tedious person to interact with because of it, and the people around me became desensitized to my pain
when I look back, I wonder why anyone stuck around
I made it impossible for anyone to help
the sadness was my entire personality, and I was afraid of trying to figure out who I'd be if I wasn't depressed, so I tried my hardest not to have to think about it -
that's a little rambly
basically I just think we should all try to look at our problems as objectively as possible
realize that there are usually solutions
and even if there aren't, we should be grateful to the people in our lives who want to be there for us, not try to make them work harder to prove their love -
I think all of us have something like that, something painful that we hang onto because we don't know who we are without it. because it's comforting.
how did you get over that? and let go? -
that's true, but it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when I complain about how I don't have friends so much it chases off people that want to be my friends
I don't really consciously remember getting over it? maybe it's still here even
I don't know
I'm just here living right now
paying debts
I don't have time to think about who I am anymore -
nooo I mean that doesn't excuse it. I guess what I'm saying is I don't think hanging onto those kinds of things is wrong or right. I think it's bad, in the sense that it harms the person and those around them, but I don't think it reflects negatively on someone in a moral sense.
have you been doing all right? -
no, you're right, is nothing to do with morality
it's just unhealthy
I've been working a lot
sleeping very little
but I've got most of my debt paid off and I'm quitting my second job soon, because I realize I've been neglecting a lot of people
and also that the sleep deprivation is making me dangerous behind the wheel
I think I'm doing alright for now
what about you? -
*it's nothing
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it just sounded like you were being a little hard on yourself there
that's gooood, that's really good. I'm proud of you, you've been very strong. you've worked really hard to get to this point.
I've been fine. I'm getting better, with my OCD and PTSD. -
oh
god, I think that's pretty normal
I don't particularly like myself now, but at least these days I can honestly say I'm trying
little road would rather have drowned than put in the effort to fix the problems that were within their control
that kind of disgusts me
thank you, seth. that means a lot.
that's so good to hear. you and your sister are still living with your father, right? how's that going? -
*then?
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maybe it's normal, but have you tried looking at yourself and your past self objectively?
I mean, taking into consideration your age, your life at that point. if it were anyone else, and not yourself, would you be as disgusted?
well it's true. we haven't exactly been the closest but I can read and I can see you've overcome a lot. that's something to be proud of. not everyone is able to do that.
it's going okay. I mean, as okay as sharing a room and a bunk bed with a 13 girl can go. she's a ridiculous brat but she's a safe ridiculous brat.
I'm not feeling too well so I'm gonna turn on some That 70's Show and sleep off this nausea. Goodnight, take care. Sorry for the abrupt ending
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