Land of Stars and Echoes
Thread Topic: Land of Stars and Echoes
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I don't understand why she keeps leaving these plates out on the counter like this. I guess they're more visible, but food needs to be refrigerated. The s---'s gonna go bad.
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this chicken is hella dry
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sweet potato better with honey confirmed
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I put holes in the walls with both of my fists til they bleed.
You might get a glimpse of how I cope with all this anger in me.
Physically abused, now that's the room that I don't want to be in.
That picture ain't blurry at all, I just don't want to see it.
And these walls ain't blank- I just think I don't want to see em.
But why not? I'm in here, so I might as well read em.
I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around.
Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground.
Matter of fact, I think I'ma burn this room right now.
Somehow this memory, for some reason, just won't come down.
You used to put me in the corner so you could see the fear in my eyes,
then took me downstairs and beat me til I screamed and I cried.
Congratulations. You'll always have a room in my mind,
but I'ma keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside. -
And I regret the fact that I struggled trying to find who I am,
and I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can.
Shrug it off like it ain't nothing, like its out of my hands,
then get ticked off whenever I see it affecting my plans.
And I regret watching these trust issues eat me alive,
and at the rate I'm going, they'll probably still be there when I die.
Congratulations. You'll always have a room in my mind.
The question is, will I ever clean the walls off in time? -
So this part of my house, no one's been in it for years.
I built the safe room and I don't let no one in there,
cuz if I do, there's a chance that they might disappear and not come back,
and I admit I am emotionally scared to let anyone inside.
So I just leave my doors locked.
You might get other doors to open up, but this door's not,
cuz I don't want you to have the opportunity to hurt me.
And I'll be the only person that I can blame when you desert me.
I'm barricaded inside, so stop watching.
I'm not coming to the door, so stop knocking. Stop knocking.
I'm trapped here. God keeps saying I'm not locked in.
I chose this. I am lost in my own conscience.
I know that shutting the wall down ain't solving the problem,
but I didn't build this house because I thought it would solve em.
I built it because I thought that it was safer in there,
but it's not. I'm not the only thing that's living in here.
Fear came to my house years ago- I let him in.
Maybe that's the problem, cuz I've been dealing with this ever since.
I thought that he would leave, but it's obvious he never did.
He must have picked a room and got comfortable and settled in.
Now I'm in the position, it's either sit here and let him win,
or put him back outside where he came from, but I never can.
Cuz in order to do that, I'd have to open the doors.
Is that me or the fear talking?
I don't know anymore. -
I regret every food item I've eaten all day
not a good day for foods -
f---ing hardees man
they can't be trusted
even mcdonalds has a passable fish sandwich
this is a mess -
when my attractive successful popular friends post statuses about how no one talks to them
who r u kidding -
in all seriousness though maybe I'm just biased
they seem so cool and perfect to me I can't believe they don't have someone talking to them pretty much all the time
that's why I don't bother them -
but I guess what if everyone else is thinking the same thing so no one actually does talk to them
that would be hella sad -
shelly is out of town but I want to make cookies with someone :(
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wait fruit doesn't have school today
does she have work?
maybe she'd want to make cookies with me -
what the f--- is going on with our internet right now
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actually
it's kind of dim outside
is it going to rain?
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