Shhh, quiet, Darlings.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:34pm
Thread Topic: Shhh, quiet, Darlings.
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Chatisma Newbie*is in need of a rant thread*
This shall do.
Tis' for like everything , so basically it is a temp thread, but I won't call it that. -
Chatisma NewbieConspicuous thread title, yes.
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Chatisma NewbieSo.. I try desperately to work things out independently these days and block off all Ties to emotion or depression, but I really wanted to say this....
*sigh* everyone I know leaves.. the S------, M----, B-----, and everyone else I know hates us or at least has some tense/ill feelings toward us... I don't blame them but whatever.... I hardly have the friends I do have. I am probably better off by myself... -
Chatisma NewbieSo don't talk to me on my thread. This is where I need to go to just be by myself..
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Chatisma NewbieWait, wait, wait, what the hell am I listening to?
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Chatisma NewbieI recall a long farewell
And a time to choose
So we part like rivers baby
Yeah like rivers do
But I still talk about you though
And wonder how it is you life will unfold
Show me what it looks like
Outside your window at twilight
Show me what it looks like
I recall drivin' home
This ain't gonna hit me till god knows when
You know I feel it in my bones
And I wear it on my skin
But there ain't no use in right or wrong
A heart must go where it belongs
Show me what it looks like
Outside your window at Twilight
It is me that you see
Dancing on a line?
Singin' I could be yours
If you would be mine
C'mon grow old with me
And surely you will see
I remember thinking
Boy you must be dreaming
So hold on
Hold on
Before it's all gone
And I do remember thinking
That your world will go on spinning
Without me now
So c'mon
C'mon please
Show me what it looks like
Outside your window at twilight
Show me what it looks like
Outside your window at twilight
Is it me that you see
Dancing on a line?
Singin' I could be yours if you would be mine
C'mon grow old with me
And surely you will see
I recall a long farewell
And a time to choose
So we part like rivers baby
Yeah like rivers do. -
Chatisma NewbieYou're trying to save me, stop holding your breath...
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Chatisma NewbieNo need to be here
No card to clock in
And I could swear somebody's watchin'
Where I go and where I've been
Brother I could see Moses
And all the things he did for you
Oh brother I've been hearin' voices
That I'm probably not supposed to
How will I walk steady
If the ground should come alive?
And how will I be ready
For the world another time?
Oh alien
You'll be just fine
You've always been beautiful to me
Oh alien
Pay us no mind
We haven't the light you hold to see
So am I another slave now
To the screamin' in my head?
Or is it a little strange now
How the moment's gone and fled?
Bother I gotta tell you
That something here is wrong
Oh brother I gotta tell ya
This place ain't what I thought
Oh alien
You'll be just fine
You've always been beautiful to me
Oh alien
Pay us no mind
We haven't the light you hold to see
I know I ain't gonna live forever
And I know you feel the same
You'll see it when you're older
No love is not a game anymore
So thank god we're together
Oh alien
You'll be jsut fine
You've always been beautiful to me
Oh alien
Pay us no mind
We haven't the light you hold to see
Oh alien -
Chatisma Newbie*shrinks into a corner*
I am so conflicted over life.
Threads like this sway my vote
Goodbye, thread.
Die,
I shan't miss you
Now f---,
I need sleep,
And help
Seriously,
I need help
But dont help me
I can make it on my own
I refuse medication
I suffer pain
And listen to music ^~^
Mostly thriving ivory right now,
But lately I have enjoyed fireflight
And surprisingly some emminem songs...
1:02am
Yay
I totally don't have anything to do
...Damm it....
I shall break my leg if it gives me a day to break.
Oh well, at least the Piercys will be there. ^~^
Maybe
Damm, this is fun
I need to seriously restrain from cussing
*sigh*
*refuses to think over the train of that I started to get on*
*uncurls out of a ball*
If anyone knows how to do like eighty percent of the socializing I wouldn't mind talking
Actually, I don't want to engage in small talk
But I refuse to have a deep conversation
Those are painful and deadly -
Chatisma NewbieWell I never quite knew
Where I stood with you
And my safest bet
Was to disconnect
Yes it's been so long
But the chemicals are never wrong
Don't you get me wrong
You see I don't mind falling in love again
My heart on the line again
No I don't mind
When I'm on your side
See I'm not ready to go alone
So no one told you that a heart could be forever
When I'm not leaving cause were in this thing together
And I don't know which way will take us home
I'm not ready to go alone
So no one told you it don't matter where the road leads
Cause where were going no we won't need anything
And this is not
Goodbye
I'm always on your side
On your side
Well I never quite knew how to handle you
Will it play out soon?
Or should I make a move
Can you see what you started?
Now I'm wounded and guarded
You lead me to believe that were all broken hearted.
See I don't mind falling in love again
My heart on the line again
No I don't mind
When I'm on your side
See I'm not ready to go alone
So no one told you that a heart could be forever
When I'm not leaving cause were in this thing together
And I don't know which way will take us home
I'm not ready to go alone
So no one told you it don't matter where the road leads
Cause where were going no we won't need anything
And this is not
Goodbye
I'm always on your side
On your side
You see I don't mind falling in love again
My heart on the line again
No I don't mind
When I'm on your side
So no one told you that a heart could be forever
When I'm not leaving cause were in this thing together
And I don't know which way will take us home
I'm not ready to go alone
So no one told you it don't matter where the road leads
Cause where were going no we won't need anything
This is not goodbye
I'm always on your side
No this is not goodbye
I'm always on your side
Always on your side -
Chatisma NewbieOkay then... I will just go to bed... sorry for wasting your space with my presence.
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Chatisma NewbieWhat is so f---ing wrong with me that I can't keep a friend? My entire life has been a strive so hard it has left me torn as I try to keep what little friends I have . Does anyone understand how difficult it is to go to a fair and see a thousand drop dead gorgeous girls with a group of friends and then looking st myself.... I am far from beautiful, and I know that my many physical flaws a are what keep me from most friendship possiblies. But the only friend I have is the reject of the rejects and I love her to death, but when you spend your entire life wishing for some sort of acceptance it isn't good enough... I am such an selfish... *sigh* I am done with social s---. Seriously, the first eight years of my life I was probably the most social, exhilarating, friendly little spitfire you ever saw, but in that time I managed to find a girl who won't even speak to me anymore, Izaya, and a dozen other people who hate me, reject me, leave me, or just don't give a crap about me. I thought that happy social people were the ones who had all sorts of friends... that means something else was offensive about me... I guess my stupid arrogance that hung around my neck might have repelled people, but... *sigh* so apparently, the world is aloud to take your light and break you down emotionally and socially, then tell you you are a reject and a failure and have no social skills... *sigh* my in doesnt know how to place he thoughts in my mind... but... even my only, and best friends... I lost Kaylie, and Jacob, and Stacie, and Samantha, and Alex.. and so many people....
I am a screw up and I deserve to die. I am sick of beight emotionally stable. I can't do that anymore! I am such a f---ed up screwed little piece of trash.. it isn't even anyone's fault. I am repellent and I know it. Everything I do is so screwed up it... I am suck a b------.... how the hell does anyone stand Mr for more than three minutes!? How do you look at my ugly face and tell me hi and laugh at my lame jokes? How do you even posess yourself to lie and say you care? Why do I always f--- everything up?
I seriously will bream my leg if it keeps me from going tomorrow. Seriously, I can't hardly believe I am here...
The worst part about this is that this is actually what I think. Seriously, I am dead Serious. I am a f---ed up reject and I apologize with all my sincerity for my presence. I apologize for b----ing about this, I apologize for not understanding what I am doing right now and having a mind in a haze so clear it is impossible.... I have no idea what I ammalign or who I am. I really feel no reason to live though.... I wish I had a reliable way to die. Something that doesn't take much effort and will power... something I can't turn back from....
Maybe I could just sleep for like eight centuries. That might be long enough.
Seriously though, I am going to go chug down random capsules of medicine and if I die, great, but if I don't.... whatever, I will be in a hospital somewhere away from people just like I want. If anyone wants to tell this to my parents since they are obligated to care, or anyone who felt obligated to do stay by my side then please do so. I can't say I will miss anyone anymore.. it is hard to love people who hate you...
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