My Temporary (or possibly permentant) Official Thread
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:34pm
Thread Topic: My Temporary (or possibly permentant) Official Thread
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:-l
no, you dying would hurt as much as losing Alli.
Not exactly, like, when I was trying to convince you on how most of the stuff you were saying about yourself, or when you were trying to help me and Joz get out of our "I hate life so damn much" phases.
Well I'm seriously eating more salt than I think is healthy but I can't stop o_e
hmm...
Savannah, I hate life too, but standing alone isn't going to do anything. Just like you said like 3 months ago, to fix all of this is going to have to pull on both of our strength and resources, but we can make it through with each others help. -
No.. just no. ...
That isn't valid..
Don't, please, just stop.
I swear I said no damm thing. Alexander I can not be here to help you pull yourself out of the mud and you can't be there to help me though everything so just develop an independence from each other, okay? I meam, what do you think would happen if I did acctually manage to kill myself? You wouldn't know that I did it and you wouldn't have my support. Just like chaft in the wind. -
Yeah, it would.
yes it is.
*borg accent* I would adapt, but if and until then we must work as one. -
No, don't say that. Just no... it isn't the same.
No, don't make me argue this. I can and I will, I am incredulous to the idea that I have any value or potential, Alex.
I am damm serious. I swear I never want to hear the word.... again.... so just please stop. I am sick of people damaging themselves. I am the I you one who deserves to do anything that might hurt their health, everyone else must remain healthy and vigilant.
No, no, no!!!! SHUT UP! YOUR WORDS are blasphemy!!!, YOU CANNOT LEAN IN ME IN THE LEAST OF WAYS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!, I am a pole made out of lead. -
but it would hurt the same Savannah. Yes, thats how much you mean to me. now dont go and go into cyberoblivion for a month without saying anything or I will think you're dead .-.
Well theres your problem! youre too hard on yourself, Savannah! there such thing as a helpful amount of being hard on yourself, and then theres being too hard on yourself and it hurts you, and the latter is what is whats happening to you.
Savannah, I'm already hurt physically in way that can never heal or be fixed. now can you guess what that'd be?
Savannah, instead of scrambling to lean on someone else, why don't we just lean against each other and just be stable? it's like neutrons. A lone neutron decays into a proton in 15 minutes, then can just flip out of existence, or the neutron can try to combine with a proton and become stable, or try to combine with another neutron, turning one into a proton, and becoming stable, but a lone neutron cannot be stable on it's own. Do you seriously want to decay into something less of yourself, or possibly dead, or do you want to slightly change yourself by combining with another, but still keep who you are? Which seems more appealing? -
It shouldn't, I am not worth as mush as her. And perhaps I shall try again soon enough, I mean, you can't stop me and I can only help from this point,
*crys* I can't, I can't allow myself to believe I have any value right now, if I believe that even for a moment then I will have enough resisual force to keep me from keeping everyone I love alive and well.
I... I don't know.. don't tell me though, mules you want me to have something to add to my bucket list.
I can't tell, I can hardly read what you wrote, the screen is too blurry. All I know is that you are stronger then I am, so if we lean against each other you will overpower me and I will fall, and break. Maybe I already did, idk. -
Savannah now you listen to me, now that Alli is gone and I've lost hope, you are the only one who can tend to my wounds and really make a difference in whether I crash and burn or not. So you decide to die, go ahead, cause I'll see you on the other side, and I don't think it'll take another 60 years to see you, so don't worry about having to wait for me, cause I'll be following you pretty soon after. I wouldn't be able to keep myself from forcing myself into the most painful death possible if you die, so go ahead, and don't wait for me, cause you won't NEED to wait.
But to think you yourself have worth should be your first priority so that you can have the confidence to help them to the best of your abilty.
It's something you've known about me from early on when you new me, and has caused s--- ever since I was born, and hasn't ceased since.
No Savannah, I know how to limit how hard I push. I'm not a robot you know, I am flesh and blood like you. -
ALEX! YOU CAN'T DIE! If you die without nature's assistance (aka, suicide) then my death will be almost meaningless so just don't. I thought I made it clear that I won't let you lean on me for anything to find another support, and I can't tend to your woimds, they are your wounds .
Ha, no.... Alex, even if I wanted to view myself with worth I couldn't. Everyone irl has already made it pretty clear that I suck at everything, so my self deception that I can help them won't work. I can't help anyone, I can't...
I can't open your eyes... I told you, only you can do that.
That is exactly why you can't use me as support. Humans make mistakes and they don't know when to stop because their emotions get in the way, robots don't, robots just push as far as they are told to. -
Oh come on, my status bar just went down too. I thought I was past that phase.
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Then let that be a reason not to die, because it'd end up being meaningless, because without you I don't know how I'd be able to live with myself, I'd probably end up tearing everything within me to shreds and forgetting who I am, and just rampaging all over the place in complete vain.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM THOUGH! You are so good at so many things, and I won't let you go down like I almost did because of the b----asses at my school. The people who say that you're not good at what you do, those people aren't even worth your time Savannah! even if they're your parents.
No one can. It was a sealed deal before I was even born. At least I can see, but my eyes are the best they'll ever be as of now. Pretty much from this point on, I'll just get closer and closer to going blind, but never actually going black.
Robots push as far as they can, to their limits. humaniods are able to control their responses. -
No it didn't, it's still lime green.
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OR!!!! Or you could just not die and not know that I died and I could just slam my head up against a rock until I forget you, then you won't be the reason I die and you can live your life like you were meant to.
It's not like that..... everyone has told me that I duck at everything, even my parents turn up their noses at some of the things I do. My best friend agrees to my every self criticism and backs them up, too. Even my most beloved passions I am not with of. I can't help, not be as people tell me I cant, but because I know I can't and I have tried time and time again and I just can't. I a sick of living in the denial that I can help or that I can do things. Alex, I am remedial and I sick at at everything. There is not one talented bone in my body, I am just stagnant water that needs to be flushed.
well then go invent robotic eyes. It isn't impossible, and in heaven, you will get brand new eyes that see better than any earthly eyes can. But please promise me that if they ever come out with something that will fix your vision that you won't take it. This is seriously convuluted and extreme but there is something that will seal your fate that can improve senses that is coming out and I would frankly rather you died then have you take it.
Not true, alex. -
It did, it used to hardly have any white on it, now there is almost a centimeter of white on it.
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If you're going to get into the whole "the way you were meant to" s---, thn lemme ask you this, ::
Do you think I was MEANT to know you? If not, then why the f--- am I typing this?
Savannah, that is complete BULLs---. You and I both know that you're good at lots of things, and what people say isn't always true! You of all people on this planet should know that!
Well I don't have to worry about that because the only way to fix my eyes is to have a transplant which won't be possible uNTIL JEAN-LUC PICARD IS AN OLD MAN, SO I'LL BE DEAD BY THEN
yeah, it's true, trust me. I kow the differences between ai and human.
well at least yours didn't jump 3/4 way back like mine did. -
Slowly losing my stance...death creeping up on me... sometimes nonsense sometimes sane...losing myself to the monster inside...shattered but my pieces are still falling apart...
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