Heph's thread
- Locked by Hephaestuschild on Dec 10, '20 10:57amReason: Making New Official Thread
Thread Topic: Heph's thread
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heeey, idk if you're still here but feel better babe
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Nope never mind no sleep
I'm trying I really am. -
Please disregard my next few posts. Don't bring up anything I say. I just need to get this all out. If I do that I'll feel much, much better.
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Do what you need to do, Elric. I'll dip out, but if you need me, call. I'll be watching for a bit.
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She sounds so much like him anymore it isn't funny. I don't like it at all. We left him for a reason. I thought things would get better, and it did. But one second you're buying me things and smiling and telling me how much you love me, and next you're yelling at me about how useless I am, and how I'm never going to get anywhere in life because I'm a baby. You start taunting how I get nervous, and you pick on my stutter. You yell about how all I ever care about is anime, and how I waste all my money on video games. When I ask you to.please stop, you call me disrespectful and threaten to send me to live with him. I cry about that and beg you not to, and you go back to taunting me about being a big baby.
If you aren't threatening to send me to him, you're piling chores on me out of spite.
You don't believe me when I say I've done any chores until you inspect every angle. Do you really trust me so little?
I'm scared to lose you. You're getting old and you're not.in the best of health, but you're all I have. I need you.
Even with all the verbal abuse, you're the only one I have. If anything happens to you, I'd end it. There's no reason to live if I have to do it alone.
Honestly I don't know if you really love me anymore. But I won't abandon you. I'll never leave, I promise.
You're right, I'm useless. I can't go through life without someone holding my hand.
I'm pathetic.
But I want to change. I'm trying.
Can't you acknowledge that fact? Haven't you noticed how hard I'm trying? I'm getting this job to help you. I don't want to be a burden.
But you're scaring me. If you become like him, I won't know what to do. He's the reason I'm the way I am in the first place. He's the reason I don't like being touched. He's the reason I cry at night. He's the reason I work so hard to be as forgiving and accepting as I can.
Some days I'm scared I'll become him. Someday I'll beat my children and hurt them. I have nightmares about it. I don't want to hurt anyone.
I don't like the fact that you're making me ask him for money. I don't like going to.his house alone. The smoke chokes me up, and the roof looks like it will cave in any day.
And he's so lonely, when I go there I actually feel sorry for him. I can't do that. He's a bad person. I can't have him in my life. -
I'm done I think. I'm sorry. Thank you for your concern.
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Now to make this vanish.
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Boop
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Beep.
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meow
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new page?
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new page
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Bweee
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Oh, thanks!
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Anyway, I'm going to start decorating for Halloween tomorrow. I just have to get batteries for the stake lights.
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