No Subject
- Locked due to inactivity on Dec 16, '19 3:54am
Thread Topic: No Subject
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A beer would be nice
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I just need to numb my emotions..
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Nah i just want a cold beer to be honest
Also i find that when i drink i become more aware of my emotions and i start thinking about things in my past and things that make me mad sad etc so i usually avoid getting drunk XD -
It is a scorcher, I guess..
s---.. Sounds not fun.. -
Yeah it sucks when the more you drink the more you hate urself
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Ah, well.. I need to hate myself more, anyway..
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Uhm😯
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What..?
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Why doh?
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Many reasons:
I'm a worthless failure
I'm a terrible person
It's approaching the second year where I lost the only girl who could ever care for me to suicide and I still blame myself..
I've been hurting since '07
I'm an illegal immigrant to Canada
No one likes me and no one cares
I don't have any reason to smile, or even be happy anymore, so I'll resort to self hatred until I die.. -
I'm sorry but you should not blame yourself for HER suicide. Did you physically do whatever it is? No? Then it wasn't your fault. You can't enter the minds of others. We're only human.
Sorry. I just can't stress this enough -
Oh i remember when you told us about that but no use beating yourself up about it wont do any good
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^
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You've no idea what it's like.. You try to save them, yet in the end, you just fail.. I can't just go on with life without thinking I had a part in it.. I was all she had and she just couldn't take it anymore.. It seriously f---s you up in ways you can't imagine, it destroys your soul.. Every few weeks, I have nightmares that plague me with her yelling at me, telling me how much I failed her...
I never asked for this... Yet was I a horrible person in a past life?...
Well what can I do..? Completely ignore it?... It's nearly impossible to do... -
No. Ignoring it will make it worse. Talk to someone about it. If you are over 18 maybe consider going to a therapist so you are receiving help.
But if you are that desperate to act on your self harming thoughts, call the suicide hotline. Hospitalization might give you a break from real life and give you a chance to work on yourself
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