I have a commitment problem
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:18pm
Thread Topic: I have a commitment problem
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So I was wondering, if I put a few starts of stories up, would you critique them and tell me if theyre okay or bad or anything? And any help would be wonderful.
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I'm just gonna put one up right now...
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I hate bullies. And that's the number one reason I hate my dad's job. And so do my two little brothers. They're twins and only five going on twenty-five. My dad is an inventor and he presents his work all over the world. I wouldn't say he's insane but he is definitely a little wacked. We move around all the time going wherever my dad thinks manageable and worth living. I seriously disregard his opinion of where we should live. The past two months we've been living in the Scandinavian wilderness with barely enough heat to keep our rear ends from falling off. This morning my dad informed Leon, Lionel, and I that we were moving closer to civilization, to England. And not just any where in England, no, he had to choose to move a castle on an island with no BBQ whatsoever, only one school (which was a snob-fest private one, no less), and declared that we would be staying for three years. Ever since Mom died, we haven't stayed long enough in one given place to even memorize the name of our teachers.
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TheHuntster JuniorWidowed Father with job that makes him move alot to the displeasure of his kids - Overused.
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Okay, something else then...
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Write about a paranoid 14 year old that's a secret agent that's running from the government. :P
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Hmm, okay, hold on, I'll get a start on that...
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TheHuntster JuniorI could give you some story I concepts I came up with while stoned, but most authors use their own so youd probably say no xP
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Well, I will take your ideas and I will try to make a story out of them if I like it. But could you possibly wait a few?
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TheHuntster JuniorI could give you some story I concepts I came up with while stoned, but most authors use their own so youd probably say no xP
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TheHuntster JuniorDouble post. Dx
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Tanya was running again. Fifth week in a row. She couldn't seem to stay in one place for more than three days. By that time, they found her again. She didn't have any rations and was practically starving every day. She knew that they probably weren't always on her tail every second, but that's what it felt like. And she still had to carry out her mission. She fled through a back alley and arrived at the house. She sat under the window, breathing heavily, yet quietly, so she could here the conversation going on inside the house. Even though, these people weren't her assignment, she couldn't help it.
Ozzy, is that like what you were thinking? I'm not really trained in the agent department and I think I made her sound more like a spy... -
TheHuntster JuniorIf that was a rough draft, then Okay. In action/political stories, you want to be as vivid as you can, though. Otherwise, its fine.
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Yeah, I'm just making these up. That was definitely a rough draft.
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TheHuntster JuniorAbout my second time smoking, I was pretty depressed and s---, I started writing a story about this boy. He isolated himself from others unwittingly. And a part of it was the perspective he saw his life through. I quit writing it, but basically the story didnt have any plot turns or thrills, its just a confused kid.
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