Legend Of Valkyries : Fafnirs' Invasion
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 28, '16 3:54am
Thread Topic: Legend Of Valkyries : Fafnirs' Invasion
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OPENING/PROLOGUE :
This is the first part of the series Legend Of Valkyries. Every characters and stories are fully made by me, without any advice or help from any other person. Remember, if I feel threatened by posting each episodes or chapters, I'll stop posting anymore.
SUMMARY :
Akeru Misato, the main character and the main protagonist is stranded on a mysterious island because of the plane crash he had earlier. Having no idea, he is forced to start his adventurous journey. It's not easy, he has to gain everyone's trust and defeat the invading fafnirs. Will he make it? -
To avoid story thieves, some plots or some parts from each episodes will be removed.
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TITLE EPISODE 1 : Lost and Found
May contain wrong vocabularies and grammars. Haven't re-checked this episode.
"Warning! Warning! Please wear your life vest immediately. The plane will soon crash on the water," the plane's alarm sounds, "Put off your shoes or sandals, leave all luggages you brought and immediately cover yourself from high impact turbulences."
(removed part)
"A plane crash? Never had this before, damn it!" A brown-haired boy with blue sparkling eyes says to himself with anger.
The boy is a sixteen-years old teenager who has just graduated from Rakau Senior High School. His name is Akeru Misato, intelligent, but sometimes acts too childish. He usually wears white formal shirt with black or blue jeans set.
He is on his way to his home city, Gilga, not a big city, but also not a small city. Gilga has moderate technology and education, not the best. However, after two hours of flying, his plane is having a trouble and is directing everyone to wear the life vest, so they can float on the sea water.
The plane dives fast through the air with unimaginable speed and crashes on the water with a huge splash. Akeru panics and automatically opens the plane's emergency door. He jumps outside without hesitating.
But suddenly, unwanted explosion happens. His plane that he took explodes with no specific reasons. Akeru, the boy, has been knocked unconscious by the blast radiation.
"Ughh...", he mutters when he wakes up on an unknown beach stranded, "Where am I?"
(removed part)
He stands up and shakes off all the sand that sticks on his shirt and jeans. He starts to wander around, but doesn't found anything, except a path that he hasn't ever known where it leads.
Being curious, he follows the path carefully and slowly, but surely. He tries to sneak walking, but his footstep sound is still heard. Therefore, someone knows him that he is there and starts calling him.
"Who's there?" A girl asks from afar.
To avoid misunderstanding, he ducks quickly and slowly approaches a bush to hide from the girl.
"Don't be afraid!" The girl shouts.
But then, a fire ant bites Akeru and he screams terribly loud. The girl follows the sound's source and finds Akeru shouting.
"There you are! I thought I was hallucinating." The girl claims and scratches her hair.
"You weren't." Akeru replies loudly.
"Supposedly, this place was made for girls only, so how can you get here!" The girl shouts madly at Akeru.
"No, no, don't misunderstand. This afternoon, I was flying on a plane, but the plane crashed on the seas. Then, the plane exploded and I fell unconscious. Without any idea, I woke up here not long ago." Akeru explains to her.
"I see, but this place is all girls-only!" The girl nods and kicks Akeru with her right leg.
Akeru falls on the ground, quickly stand up and says loudly, "It hurts you know!"
"Of course, I know... That's a punishment for you as you have just come to an all-girls only island." The girl says lamely.
"That's an accident, you know!" Akeru argues fast.
"A mistake caused by an accident is also a mistake." The girl tells him wisely.
"Nevermind, but may I know who are you?" Akeru asks politely.
"My name? Yours first." The girl asks laughing.
"My name is Akeru Misato, I live in Gilga." Akeru answers.
"My name is Yuta Kirou, I lived in Tomoe few months ago, but recently I was sent here." Yuta answers back.
"Nice to meet and know you, Yuta." Akeru says.
"Your welcome, it's nice to meet you too." Yuta replies.
(removed part)
Yuta Kirou, the girl who was talking with Akeru, has purple long hair with pink glimmering eyes. She is fifteen years old. She is very famous, but possesses deadly skills. She usually wears cute shirt and pink skirt.
"Now, I'll get you a way to come back to Gilga without being seen by other students." Yuta says to him.
"Students? Is there a campus here?" Akeru asks.
"Pretty much, yes, but not like a regular campus. This campus is designed to train talented girls who possess the fafnir mark where can be seen on her back." Yuta tells him.
"Fafnir mark? What's that? Never heard of it before." Akeru asks.
"Fafnir mark is a top-secret that has been hidden for a very long time. It symbolizes a fafnir and usually appears itself on a girl's back. Showing that this possessed the power of fafnir." Yuta answers slowly.
"Then what's a fafnir?" Akeru asks again.
"You have lots of questions, eh? Fafnirs are huge creatures that spawn naturally on the oceans, but their reasons and existence to come here hasn't be found or detected." Yuta explains.
"All right, thank you for explaining. Oh, one more question, like you said earlier, only girls possess the mark?" Akeru asks.
"Yeah, mostly, as there is no sign of a boy having the mark." Yuta answers.
"So you are also one of the fafnir mark users, I suppose?" Akeru asks for agreement.
"Yes, but we're not called fafnir mark users, because it sounds strange. To be good, we are called Valkyries." Yuta answers calmly as she has to open her secret fully from her heart to trust him.
"Valkyries? Good name!" Yuta comforts her and smiles.
Suddenly, Akeru is shot from his back a poisonous arrow which makes him fall unconscious.
He wakes up on a room that looks like an emergency hospital. He checks all his surroundings, as he afraid that he'll be done anything.
A door slam sound is heard and a girl with yellow moderately long hair and blue eyes come into the room. She wears white and black campus uniform.
"There you are! You've already awoken, haven't you?" The girl asks.
Akeru tries to pretend sleeping, but he doesn't. Awkwardly, his prevention fails as the girl realizes that Akeru has awoken.
"Yeah, you right, I'm awake. But who are you?" Akeru asks and points the girl with his right hand.
"I'm Rukio Feeble, the council of this hospital. You mustn't mess with me." Rukio answers.
"I'm Akeru Misato, nice to meet you." Akeru says and smiles a bit, "Oh yeah, I would like to ask, I only remember that I fell unconscious this afternoon, but I don't know how."
"Actually, you were shot unpredictably by someone with a poisonous arrow which makes you fall unconscious. The 'someone' I meant is..." Rukio answers, but someone distracts and interrupts by slamming the door heavily.
"Me." Another girl enters the room continuing what Rukio said.
"Then why did you shoot me?" Akeru asks.
"This campus has rules. One of them is don't allow any boy to enter this island at any cost." The girl answers.
"But that's not the right way, huh? You have just hurt someone, you know." Akeru tells her.
(removed part)
The girl nods and agrees, "Uh-huh. By the way, my name is Amaki Kurosaki, nice to meet you here!"
"My name is Akeru Misato, you too." Akeru replies nicely and politely.
Amaki Kurosaki, a green short haired girl and green eyes. She has unique personality, but mostly she is diligent and creative. She has no beat on examinations.
"So, our plan here is to get you out from this island without being seen by any other students, am I right?" Rukio asks for confirmations and lifts all her hands up saying I want to know.
"I guess, yeah. But can I stay here for a bit?" Akeru asks for allowance and admittance grinding.
"No, you can't. You have to leave this island. We'll help you getting out of this mess. If our teacher knows that we'll helping you, we'll get punished." Both Rukio and Amaki face and say to him.
"A mess you said, but luckily, you're correct, I would punish you." A black shadow figure comes from a distance and it's revealed that it's their teacher.
"That was a bad idea to say here." Rukio whispers quietly and prepares herself to be punished.
The teacher approaches, slams and smashes them down with her books and hands. It results to lots of ashes and wood destruction effect. Recently, they've been doing this just for fun because it's enjoyable.
The teacher's name is Miy -
The teacher's name is Miyako Fuchihama, twenty six years old. She has black moderate hair and brown eyes. Sometimes she is cruel and super-discipline. She usually wears campus teacher uniform.
Miyako finally finishes her joke and then she approaches Akeru asking, "I received an information that you were in a plane crash that made you strand here. Is that absolutely true?"
"Yeah, why not, I'm telling the truth always." Akeru answers.
"How unfortunate!" Miyako shouts and continues, "Perhaps I'll let you stay here for a bit and getting used into it."
"Thank you!" Akeru thanks so much.
(removed part)
Running footsteps are heard within the hallway and another girl enters the room, but shorter. A girl with long blue hair and brown sparkling eyes wearing the campus uniform.
"Big brother!" The girl shouts.
"Big brother? I thought I don't have any siblings." Akeru asks confusedly.
"Yes, I'm Iyako Misato, your little sister, how did your forget me?" Iyako asks.
"I don't know, I only feel that my memories are erasing themselves." Akeru says.
"That's strange." Miyako interrupts quickly.
"I think you ought to be checked completely to ensure your health, big brother." Iyako replies.
"My health? I feel healthy." Akeru says.
"Sometimes, very few people may get sick because of born imperfection. But it's rare though, you shouldn't be worrying about it, I overthink so much." Iyako says loudly.
"Well, watch your language." Akeru replies with laughs.
"So, why did you get here, were you dismissed by NCPT?" Iyako explains to him.
"NCPT? You mean No-Ordinary Creature Protection Troops?" Akeru asks for confirmation.
"Yep, I heard that you were in NCPT earlier. Have you forgotten it too?" Iyako asks.
"I suppose." Akeru answers as he doesn't remember it.
Suddenly, there is an undetected earthquake happening and the alarm sounds loudly, "Warning! Warning! There is an earthquake happening, please immediately hide under a strong foundation table or exits all buildings if possible."
"There's an earthquake! Run!" Miyako screams while pushing Rukio and Amaki out of the hospital. Meanwhile, Akeru and his little sister get out theirselves without any help.
"An undetected earthquake? How strange... What if it's a fafnir invasion?" Akeru thinks in his mind wondering and asking what's really happening.
~ To Be Continued ~ -
Why do you care so much if someone steals your work? Are you worried that they're gonna take all the credit for it? So what? This isn't Booker Prize level brilliance and there are millions like it already on the internet. Shouldn't you be writing for the fun of it? Because it fills your soul, etc?
Ideas don't matter. Execution does. There is nothing new under the sun.
I just think, removing certain scenes from your story and actively making it worse because you're so paranoid that someone is out to steal it is stupid. Do you know how many stories are stolen online? Zero. I cannot find a single instance in all of history where someone stole a story online, sold it, and made big money. -
Oh, and you don't need to tell us who speaks every single time. Usually, people's style of speaking is distinct enough to let the audience know who's speaking. Going 'he said, she said, he interrupts, she replies,' only slows the story.
Use 'said' like a spice. Pepper it over a conversation so we can easily keep track of who's who, but don't put it in every line. -
Lol Ihlaoy, you have just messed up my thread, but it's all right though. In my real-life, my father has a picture of his bird (an owl respectively), took a picture of it and posted it on a social media. Within few days, few people steal his picture, so my father has to put extra evidence to make everyone trusts him including date stamp.
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But you know, what you said is right, perhaps I'm too worried that someone would steal my work.
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