Could I get some constructive critisism on this?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:35pm
Thread Topic: Could I get some constructive critisism on this?
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Give Me A Reason To Live By: Jinx Blackclaw
My heart raced as I ran toward the bathroom, tears staining my face. I finally slammed the door behind me and locked it. No one would come in here to see the drastic deed I was about to commit. My eyes panned over the shelves and containers, until they come to a rest on one. It held pink pills. I had no idea what effect they would have me, but at that point I didnt care. It seemed like the whole world was against me. I twisted open the cap and my body trembled as I looked at the pills inside. I wasnt thinking of anything else, as I dumped a bunch into my hand. I could hear the arguing from my parents down the hall, and my sister was in the bedroom. I put the pills toward my mouth and there was a knock on the door. Hurry up! the voice said, as I realized it was my sister. My thoughts went to her and I stood up and threw the tiny pills in the toilet, then flushed.
I made my way out of the bathroom and to my bedroom. I just wanted to sleep and let my problems drift away. I climbed onto my bed and looked at the cramped room I was in. Will they ever understand me? I asked, my words falling into a seemingly empty void. I grabbed my stuffed bear that sat on the end of my bed and hugged it tightly. I never wanted to let it go, because it seemed like my life-line. I finally closed my eyes and drifted through a seamless sleep.
The seamless sleep I had wanted, didnt last for long. I woke up to my sister shaking me awake. W-what is it? I said, my words started to slur together. Just start cleaning your room. My sister said, her voice slightly hushed, but hurriedly. I sighed and moved my feet so I could stand on the floor. Go to your room, so they wont catch you in here. I said, my voice trembling. -
**TRIGGER WARNING**
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Sorry, I should have put that. Now I feel terrible.
(Ignore this, I'll just rewrite it.)
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