Could someone critique these please?

• Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:35pm

Thread Topic: Could someone critique these please?

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  Puppet master12 Advanced

  9 years ago
  
  I welcome harsh critque but if I could have at least one positive point so I know it's worth continuing please just to quickly say , the character who is narrating this isn't as powerfull as she talks about in this just so she's not classed as a Mary sue.
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  Puppet master12 Advanced

  9 years ago
  Please crituiqe this because I really want to know if it's worth it.
• hipdo Newbie

  9 years ago
  Wow! This is really good! I like it! And sure it's worth it!
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  Puppet master12 Advanced

  9 years ago
  Thanks but I really need negative points such as over used and things like that.

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