I'm writing a ff7/kingdom hearts fanfiction
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:35pm
Thread Topic: I'm writing a ff7/kingdom hearts fanfiction
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Name- Jen Rhapsodos
Age- 18
Gender- female
Eyes- red gold
Skin- lightly tanned
Hair- shoulder length bright auburn with a long pony tail going down her back
Build- tall and lethal
Clothes- black t shirt and matching cargo pants. Red leather jacket tied around her waist when she's not wearing it. Black boots with silver buckles.
Extra- a pair of red leather belts crisscrossed on her waist to clip stuff to. Three silver ball earnings in her left ear
Powers- keyblader abilities. Pyromancer.
Keyblade- Ravens fall- the crossguard looks like a silver raven curled around a large red gem. The blade and handle are both crimson and the 'teeth' resemble a partially open ravens wing.
Weakness- over confidence, her migraines, can't swim.
Other- she is genesis's reincarnation
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Normal party
Jen- ravenger/commando
Vincent- saboteur/commando
Sora- commando/medic -
Tell you what, lets do something crazy.
Ditch the character application template thing and do this for me; describe the character as if you just saw them walking down the street and I asked what they looked like. Nobody ever made a great character from a template. Then we'll see what I think. -
Hmm, ok. I'll try
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This is a piece of my book)
Jen walked down a road in Travers town, her short auburn hair glowing in the sunlight. She looked around and then she grinned." Hey Vincent, think there's any heartless in that alley? " she called over her shoulder, he red eyes with gold flecks shining mischievous. The black haired man shrugged "maybe." He said. Jen took this as a yes and ran in to the ally as she took her red jacket off and tied it around her waist. She summoned ravens fall to her left hand and a fire ball in her right so she could see. Something fell over to her right and she spun around only to see a cat. SHe pouted. "Aw.....it's just a cat...." -
Not exactly what I asked for, but I thank you for playing along at all.
I still really can't form any opinion on your character. Appearances are all well and good, but in the end, it's personality that makes a character. Appearance wise I'd say you're pushing the prose a little hard, but I'd be more disappointed if you weren't.
Oh, and every time someone speaks they get a new line. This is basic writing 101, memorize it.
Your grammar and spelling could do with a little work as well. -
dude would you ever become a professional critic
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Ok, thanks. I'll remember that
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Jeeshan NoviceI am writing a sci-fi story, I got the main characters and overview of the story but can't make it as a long story. Lol hehe
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That's fine. Many great stories are simply short stories. Length doesn't correlate with quality. Just right the exact amount of words you need to make a fun story. You should make a thread to keep us updated on how you're going.
(I don't actually know enough to be a professional critic, 1714, I'm still an amateur myself. I just remind people of the basics and hope they stick long enough for them to learn the advances themselves.) -
Jeeshan NoviceHmm, thanks Ihlaoy I will keep you guys updated by posting my ex-stories (yeah that's some are Romantic and otherd are Action, Sci-fi.)
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