Hint of Guilt
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:34pm
Thread Topic: Hint of Guilt
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"It's ironic really...
Once I finally feel free I feel like a slave again
Feeling free felt terrible.
So terrible I wanted to drain myself of my 'sins'.
And by doing that I spilled my blood upon the cold concrete- hoping to release myself from a world full of possibilities as punishment for being a coward.
I could of lived happy on my own, possibly could of work and gotten a better education and lived a better life.
But I did this for them.
In the heat of the moment I felt this was the only way to pay for my wrongs.
Instead I came here...
I was greeted with warm smiles, talked to kind people, even found someone I cherish--
But then it hit me...
I killed myself in vain.
I wanted to suffer for eternity.
But instead I was wrapped with joy.
I didn't want that though.
I wanted it to go to people more deserving.
Such as my family fighting a continuous war everyday.
Physically--
Mentally--
and emotionally.
Haha... s---, man...
I never thought I'd feel the need to kill myself twice
It's impossible..
And that bothers me so much to the point where I feel frustrated.
I feel like s---.
And I can't help this feeling.
I could just hope to sleep at night with less on my conscience.
Sometimes it happens but other times the nightmares creep on me
I'm reminded each night of how much my little brother could be dead on the streets or how my sister and mom are gaining new scars. Here and there.
And here I am--
Not able to do s--- about it." -
*applauds* That was amazing. ;-;
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