A Deadly Love
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:14pm
Thread Topic: A Deadly Love
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This is a story about a girl and a boy. Boy meets girl; girl meets boy, and their fates are forever changed. But this is not your typical love story. In fact, this is far from it. Most loves end happily, no? The end is near, and it is not light and fluffy. The story of Axel and Jo will bring you down, rake open your heart, and leave you crying for mercy. It will leave you emotionally scarred for as long as you live, and thereafter.
~ Alana
READ ON…..IF YOU DARE….
Chapter 1
All I could remember was the pain. The agonizing, scrutinizing pain. My heart racing, pounding faster every second. I couldn’t think. I could only scream and cry, choking on my tears as I struggled through the hurt. I’d chosen this for myself. Yet every second closer to the end made me want to turn back. But what did I have left for me here? Just an abusive father, dead mother, and homicidal brother. No friends. No live. No mercy.
That’s when I felt myself drift away, and the pain started to disappear, kind of like how your mind clouds over after you drink a huge helping of vodka or booze. I knew what I was leaving behind. I wanted to go. And then I was completely gone. Dead. I saw my body lying on the bathroom floor, wrists slit, covered in blood. Then everything went black....
that's the foreword and 1st chapter. i've written 5 so far, so i'll be sure to keep you posted. what do you think? feedback and suggestions are appreciated!!!!
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This is really good, it pulls people in
I love the diction in it, very descriptive too
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yayz! :) thanks. have i mentioned i fricken LOOOOOOOOOOOVVE you quiz series Complicated Difference? it would make an epic movie!!
p.s. i've written about 3 chapters so far, i'll post the 2nd one 2mrrw :) -
thank you :D
i try my best to make it interesting haha
& yes, a movie would be pretty epic lol
& all right, i'll keep up with it :) -
AWSOME!!!!!!!!!
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thanks hat! i'm working on part 8... but i'm stuck. so max gets back to the apartment and nobody's home. she crashes on the couch... i'm trying to incorporate some action and tragedy, any suggestions?
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Very interesting start, I'd love to read it when it's published.
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to long i didnt even read it thats how long
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-.- i've written a 560 page story. compared to that, this is like 2 words.
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so itz still to long,ima not gonna read if itz too long,i already have to read at school,im not gonna put up with that at home
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-.- if ur not gonna read it, stop posting here. but you're really missing out.
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gahhh lost the notebook... i wuz just about to post the next part >:(
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found it again. okay here's more:
Chapter 2
I awoke in a hospital room, the white everything overwhelming at first. I glanced at my wrists. They were wrapped securely with bandages and gauze. Why didn't I succeed? I SAW my body. I was outside of myself. Yet here I was, trapped in this scarred, torn life that I've been forced to live. And that's when I saw her face. That beautiful, pale face. With light violet eyes, so gentle and soothing, full lips, and perfect airbrushed features. She was responsible for this. She was responsible for saving me. -
I love it :)
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yayyyyz!!! :D
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