I feel like s---.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:18pm
Thread Topic: I feel like s---.
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Background information that will help: I only have 4 real friends in real life. The guy I'm about to mention has only been at the school for less than 2 weeks. She told us the story of her and the kid and everyone made a big deal out of it, yet when I tried to say something about my love life (talking about my crush everyone thinks I should be with), no one cared. The kid who my "friend" is dating is an ass towards me.
So one of my real friends that I have left got a boyfriend yesterday. She didn't bother to tell me. I've been feeling like she doesn't care about me lately because we don't have inside jokes, we don't hang out after school, we don't seem very close. I found out from a girl that she doesn't even hang around with! I was already in a bad mood so I got pissed. I cried myself to sleep. Then today, I had this audition thing so I saw her. I was still really upset because of my "mom" and she didn't care (I was practically crying)! All she was doing was texting her new boyfriend. Then she was bragging about their conversation and how they became a "couple" and it was so much like the relationships on GTQ! All they said was "I love u!!!!" and "I love u too!" "I love u more!!" and other meaningless relationship crap. Then I was texting the person in my "Love" life (my crush) and I was happy when I said "He replied!" No one cared (4 other people were in the car). Yet when my "friend" said "He replied!" when she was telling her love story, everyone cheered. I know I seem negative, and jealous. I should be happy for her. But I'm the only person in my grade who has never been asked out. Everyone else has either been asked out or has a boyfriend/girlfriend. Before you say, "Not everyone has" actually they all have. They bragged about it. But I can't help but I get a little mad. I trust her with everything. Even deep family problems. And she doesn't care enough to tell me she got her first boyfriend! >:( Then I almost started crying (I teared up) when she kept going on and on and on about their less than one day relationship. The teacher (who drove us to the audition) yelled at me and was like, "You guys are in 7th grade. I don't think you should be dating! Teresa, if the boy is a jerk towards you, just ignore him!" I was just getting upset that she wouldn't shut up about him! Which one, kept reminding me she didn't tell me herself and two, that I don't and never have had a boyfriend. I know I'm young, but I still think it would be nice to have someone who cares about me. Seeing as my "family" and so called "friends" don't. This is such a stupid thing to get worked up over compared to other problems people have, but I swear I was so crushed when i found out that I wanted to stab myself. I just feel terrible. About everything. Home, "friends", school. Just everything piles up and eventually just little things set me off. I hate myself so much and I'm just ready to end it. All I am is a jealous, useless, sack of flesh and rage. I don't deserve to live anymore. -
Teresa, listen to me. You are beautiful! Don't let anyone make you forget that. God is looking at you right now thinking "I'm saving this girl for someone special" That's why you don't have a boyfriend. I personally think you are not too young to care about all of this, seeing that I am a year younger and sortof having the same problems that you do. Don't fret over it though. If they aren't your real friends, then go find someone who cares about you. Ditch them if they are mean to you. They don't deserve an amazing person like you. Go find some new friends and tell your school counselor every little thing wrong in your life. She will become you best friend and she will help you through all this. Best of luck to you.
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I already did tell everything to my school counselor. It's one of the reasons my life is so hard right now. Now my "mom" hates me and makes a huge deal out of every little thing I say.
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That sounds like quite a problem you got there. No matter what happens though you maybe jealous or angry but you're not useless and you do deserve to live. After tough situations it may be hard to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Believe me I know. But there should always be someone there for you and even if their isn't, there's got to be someone out there who will like you for who you are. I know we haven't even met before and you don't have to take this in but I wanted to try to help. I know you feel bad about not ever having a boyfriend and you're in year 7. But try not to rush into it because it might end in heartbreak. Make sure it's the right guy first. I'm in year 9 and I've only had one relationship. There will always be someone who will listen to what you have to say after stuff like this. Or in this case read but what I'm saying is. Even though you may not know it. There will always be someone there. I haven't lived your life but even if it's people on gtq helping you out. That's still someone who cares about your problem. Life may not seem so great at the moment but it will get better. It usually does.
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School counselors suck. You should get used to that. The thing is, they think they understand how your mind works, so they do everything that they think is right, and it doesn't help you at all. You need to help yourself. Ignore people who aren't worth your time. Ignore people who want to hurt you. They are meanigless. Be happy how you are- how some people can't be.
Your mother is disappointed in you- I know how you feel. You can't talk to her, because you're afraid she'll agree that you're wrong, and turn on you. I'm not telling you to bottle it all up inside. That's bad. It comes out in fits of rage and violence, like it does so much for me. But what I'm saying is to find real friends. Friends who care about you and your background. You can find them in the people you least expect. If you don't know someone, and they aren't mean to you, approach them. Find people who won't ignore you- good people who want to be kind to you.
These are the kind of people you need to surround yourself with. And don't even think about killing yourself! If you do, I'll kill you! It would be such a waste of your life. You never know what you could end up being- something truly meaningful to people. you could grow up and be the one adult who understands what those troubled teens are going through. Don't hurt yourself, Teresa. You're a wonderful person. You deserve to live. -
What you need is a change, all those "friends" arent friend, they happen to be one of the cause of your problem, tell them how you feel, and if they react badly, dump them, with your parents, One on one talk with them and tell them how you feel, they will understand, if you have a Bible read a proverb each day. Refuse all negatvity in your life, You are special, real people can see that
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Thanks bb. I'm not trying to rush into it though. I'm just kinda upset she won't stop talking about the kid for a minute. That and everyone cares about her and her boyfriend.
@angelic I have "friends" but not many true friends. Also, I hate both of my "parents" and I'm not in a point in my life where I can talk to them. There's been some family stuff going on and I really don't want anything to do with them. And I'm not Christian. :/ -
@Sun That's what I meant when I said I have only four friends. :/ Four that I can trust with anything. I guess it's three now.
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