Questions
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: Questions
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This is gonna sound weird cuz I'm 14 and too young to be thinking about this, but...
I have questions about marriage.
When a guy proposes, are you supposed to ask your parents first, to see if they approve?
Is it wrong to ask for time to consider?
What if you don't want to marry the person? Is it a terrible thing to say no?
If you don't ask for your parent's approval, how and when do you tell them?
I'm confused.. -
I need some comments on what africans call Lobola[has to do with proposal and marriage]
It's paying to the family and relatives, to get the girl, he also pays the mother and family members
That 's the tradition in my country and i refuse to be bought cause it feels like the guy is paying for the girl, it's their tradition and culture but it's not mine i live for the future not the past so what do you guys think -
Well, to your first question, it really depends on the attitude of the person and the relationship they have with their parents/parent to decide which action to take. Quite a difficult one.
To the second question, there's no predicting how the person would interpret or respond to that request. It, again, depends on the attitude and the relationship. I think, though, understanding and patience should prevail overall.
Third question; it would never be an easy decision. But - at the end of the day - it's for the better for both parties.
Finally, the fourth question; when tell them depends on how the person feels and the surrounding circumstances - careful consideration is needed. How do you inform is as carefully and as considerately as possible.
Hope that sheds some light. -
I think it's terrible, Lobola.
The families/relatives that partake in that tradition clearly have no respect for the females they send off. God knows what kind of man they could end up! How any family/relative could do that to someone they're supposed to love and respect is beyond me - utterly shameful.
When this occurs, imagine how women must feel. Unloved. Worthless. They aren't some cattle to be sold. They are women, human-beings and deserve respect.
I think it's a horrible tradition; fail to think of the slightest benefit. -
Sorry, I had to leave. I thank you for your help, Leah. And Lobola- the best I can say is that I 100% agree with Leah.
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Your welcome.
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