Raiden's Self-help
- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 11, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: Raiden's Self-help
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I'm making this thread on account of my messy antics. Whenever I don't know what to do, I'll come here to review what I should probably know.
Feel free to give advice, anyone, but this is like a reminder thread when presenting myself as someone's hopeful date. -
Regarding You
1. Just be you
Often, you feel that you need to be something more than you are just to please. But if you can't be yourself around someone, then you probably should be with them. -
2. Be Mindful of Your Partner
Sometimes, you get caught up in your own struggles, and you fail to notice what your partner might be going through. You should get in the habit of asking how they're doing back whenever they ask you. You probably don't mean to be so thoughtless on the matter, but it's a common curtesy. -
3. Don't Smother Him
Okay, this is hard, but when you find the perfect balance of affection and space, that's awesome! No matter how much you may love him, he is NOT a part of you, and as an individual, he has every right to require space from, yes, even you. Be sure to respect this. -
4. You Have a Life
Don't think that you don't have any way of functioning without being around him 24/7. This doesn't make a healthy relationship for anyone. This kind of adds to the previous note, but this one also helps you remember to keep your hobbies. Don't forget who you are when you're alone. -
Don't Take Every Single Detail Too Deeply
What you call him, what he calls you; how many hugs and kisses you send a day; how often he replies and how fast--none of this should be your top priority in a relationship. And don't take it to heart when you don't agree. There will be days such as those where you just can't find something in common, but don't feel bad. It happens to normal humans. -
6. Don't Feel Entitled to Owe Every Second of Free Time to Him
Hang around other people as well. Don't shut them out just because you think you've found someone. Yes, get time alone because you cherish that, but also encourage him and yourself to see friends either together or apart! -
7. It's Okay to Miss Him
Being lonely is a natural feeling, as is being concerned. Don't worry about it. Over time, you'll get used to the feeling, but that doesn't mean you'll like it. No one likes being away from someone they love, but it's healthy to acknowledge the feeling and decide how to cheer yourself up from there. -
I’m going to add this
8. Don’t change yourself to fit their personal
I found a lot of times in my relationshipwith my exthat I would try to force myself to watch a show or become some part of a fandom for her. But sometimes I didn’t get interested in myself and still forced myself to do it to have something to talk to her about, but that’s not okay. Going back to number 4, you have a life and it’s healthy to own it. -
9. Keep boundaries in mind
If you don't have any boundaries beforehand, you may find yourself getting uncomfortable in the way your relationship progresses. Make your boundaries clear to the other person to avoid awkwardness and unease in the future.
10. Remember no one's perfect
You and the other person will probably have to compromise a few things, but sometimes it's just the way someone is. This does NOT mean it's okay to let your partner do bad things. You'll have to first accept someone else's gifts and flaws, and then progress to a better future.
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