Please can someone help me
- Locked due to inactivity on Nov 12, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: Please can someone help me
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I apologize for the long wait.
When I had been in my last relationship, that same thing happened to me. We'd be in the middle of a conversation, and then out of nowhere, he... Stopped responding. And he stopped responding to the "I love you" with "I love you too." That's usually a sign that you should let someone go. Especially if you brought it up to him, and he got more defensive rather than disagreeing in a nicer manner or agreeing to fix what he was doing. He's pretty much acting as if you aren't important, and considering you did tell him your emotions, there is no reason why he's still dodging you.
I do not know how you approached him with the accusation, but even if you were rather cold about the confrontation, there was no reason for him to react that way. Even if partners don't have to come first he's literally just avoiding you completely. It's not a matter of talking to close female friends. He's, from my understanding, avoiding you and is likely using them as an excuse to get away from you. It's a dick move on his behalf.
Not to mention, you asked him what you did wrong and hes refusing to tell you. That's a huge pet peeve of mine. If you have a problem with someone, you better have a reason, and you better not try to hide it. Especially if [I] openly come to you asking to tell [me] what I'm doing wrong.
As for advice on what to do? If you do not want to lose him, keep trying to get him to talk to you. Apologize for lashing out, but tell him that you just want to understand his side of the story. If he still refuses to talk to you after all of that, I... Honestly agree with everyone else. Dump him. Someone who can't be open/honest to you or talk out problems isn't worth your time. -
If you want help coming up with something to say to him, whether it's for a serious talk or in order to dump him, I'm more than happy to give pointers.
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From what I'm inferring, he seems to be very disattached and considers the relationship really beneath him, like it's something he will take at his own pace, despite the fact there obviously has to be a compromise between the two of you. Or he just blatantly doesn't wanna talk to you. I've only been in two relationships myself and never anything serious so I can't give you solid advice, but I would agree with Dark's sentiments.
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Thanks you guys. But the thing is that he said the reason he's ignoring me is because I "b---- a lot about everything"
And just now he tagged me through a comment of a photo saying "Just go away you stupid, dumb animal." -
Okay. He's gone too far for you to merely dump him. You need to make an amazing revenge plain. Then once he's humbled, then dump him. A proper relationship is where you're partners. Not enemy's.
I actually feel the need to apologize now... I honestly thought you were just someone who took their boredom out on social media sites. But this proves me wrong. You rant a lot and aren't very nice. But clearly you're a person. I'm sorry for thinking you were a troll... I need to work on gaining all the information before making an opinion. -
YES YES YES THOUGH TO WHAT YOU BOTH SAID.
Thank you Dark, I owe you. And that makes sense he's probably using them as excuse to get away from me.
@The Dude
THAT YES, it's in his personality to do that. He was talking about a dynamic we had where he just invalidates me to want him more and that I should "learn" that dynamic of us both. Honestly I think he just wants to control the relationship but in his own way and that is why he probably doesn't like my "b----ing" because it says that I have the energy and the power to control what we do. But he just avoids me right now and he just flicks me off, especially when he's around his "friends".
I remember what occured last night. Mind you to soldify this context I allow him to brutally tease me. Ee were talking through messaging and he just came back from work and he was doing that "on and off" talking thing even though before when he was talking to be it was like any normal conversation. Then I was like, "Why won't you f---ing talk to me?" And that was when I got really aggressive because I was angry when I don't even know what "joke" he wss probably playing on me like ignoring me on purpose to make me mad. And then he retaliated saying, "Who do you think you're talking?" "That's what I thought" "I swear one more time I will leave and start f---ing thots"
And that last statement was when I started laughing and realizing it all could be a joke and I was maybe whining for nothing. I know this all seems alarming but it would make sense more because it's just our inside humor. But then he basically said "oh okay ttyl" AND HE WAS STILL ACTIVE and then I kept begging him to please answer and talk to me and he was basically like "blah blah I'm with my friends I don't want to be on my phone like a disrespectful little brat" almost like he was talking about me
And he is like a power assertive person where he is pretty dominant over me -
That Instagram tag proves he's being a child. I say leave him to stew in his own mess. You don't need a guy who uses memes or jokes to convey his feelings in a serious matter like this.
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And sometimes I start laughing at everything he says even though it also hurts me and I said it has hurt me but he just ignores me. I don't even know what I'm even doing.
He makes jokes constantly and teases me but I feel like it's really me that's missing something here that I should realize. -
If it was just a joke then he's not worth it. If he jokes about your relationship that means he doesn't take it seriously. Therefore there isn't any point in the relationship.
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He needs a swift kick in the balls.
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