Advice on Breaking-Up!
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 11, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: Advice on Breaking-Up!
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PigRabbit NewbieQuestion:
If a guy says we need to take a break does that mean break up or just not talking for a while?
Insight/Advice:
Generally, a break means this person needs time to think about and process the relationship. Whatever they are experiencing might be too much for them right now, or they are noticing something about the relationship that needs work. Yes, breaks can lead to breakups, but they can also lead to reconciliation. What this person needs from you is time and space. Dont call, text, or demand for his attention, just play it cool and give him the space that he needs. When he is ready, he will come around. In time, you will get your answer, but be patient because matters of the heart are fragile, especially at this age. It isnt easy to let someone in, and at times it can feel scary so try not to put any pressure on this person and let them make up their own mind. If this person takes too long by your standards and you feel over it, you can end the relationship or check in with him, perhaps be honest and say that you just wanted to see how he was doing. Be mindful of how he treats you at this time, and pay attention to little clues. If this guy meant to break it off for good with you but didnt have the ability to say it, you will know. Learn that this is not a very appropriate way to end things with someone. You need to communicate honestly and directly, even if someone gets their feelings hurt, the truth is always the right solution.
Question:
My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue how I get over the breakup???????????????????????????????????????????
Insight/Advice:
Im sorry to hear this was out of the blue. In the adult world, we might ask for clarification. I would make it clear to this boy that you are not trying to get back together with him, but would just like the honest reason as to why he did so out of the blue. Did he get scared? Did he change his mind about wanting a girlfriend? You have every right to know. He does owe you an explanation, but sadly when it comes to this stuff we dont always get one. Sometimes people ignore us because they dont know what to say, don't want to hurt us, and cant handle our emotions. If I was you, I would decide that I didnt want to be with anybody who didnt want to be with me. I would rise high andact confidently because this boy will see what he is missing-- if he has any feelings for you. Regardless, try not to make your life about him. Remove him from your social media networks, dont talk badly about him to others, and be as classy as you can be. This boy might get a bad reputation if he continues to do this with girls, but its not your job to spread this around. At the right time, try messaging this boy and see what he has to say. Give him space and try not to think about him. In time, you will get over him and you will like someone new. I understand how hard it can be to get rejected and not know why. Perhaps you need to do some reflecting on the relationship and see if it was all good, and work to give yourself closure. Sometimes we dont see whats really there, and it could just be that this boy isnt right for you. No matter what it turns out to be, never like someone when they dont like you. This is something you cant force, just like you cant force people to teach you a certain way, but they say you teach people how to treat you, so its up to you how you take this boys reaction. Whether you react at all is entirely up to you so I suggest you figure out whats best in the long run and stick with that.
Question:
I have a lover but anytime we ready to kiss he says no, can I break up with him? yes or no? Help me out on this case.
Advice/Insight:
If you are unhappy with how the relationship is going you could try talking to your partner, but if that still doesnt change anything you have every right to end things. Let this person know that you have different relationship expectations and arent happy with how things are going. Use whatever words feel right and natural to you, but be honest and sensitive to their feelings. You can always break up with someone if you are unhappy and it is better that you do because why stay in something that doesnt feel right? Why lead someone one? That's only going to cause a greater problem!
Question:
Ok so this boy on here asked me out, I said yes, but I wanna date someone I know, so how should I break up easily? I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Advice/Insight:
Youve got to be open and honest with this boy and let him know how you feel. Tell him you are very flattered, but dont really feel safe meeting boys online and would rather know them in person. You can say this to him in a way that it doesnt hurt his feelings, but highlighting that this is your personal preference, but it is nothing personal and merely a safety concern. Telling the truth is the easy way because it doesnt leave people guessing. People can tell when you are ignoring them suddenly or hiding behind a line, and Dear Dish-It isnt here to promote playing mind games with people. Be kind, but be honest, if he cant respect you for that, its not your problem. He was not worth your time anyway,Â
Question:
OK. so my ex said after the breakup that they never loved me, [that he] only felt bad for me and said [he] only wanted me to be happy! What does that mean? Please Help me! I am having mixed emotions because I sometimes think that he likes me or he doesn't. I don't know. I am hurting about this, please.Thanks.
Insight/Advice:
That is a really hurtful thing to hear from someone you thought loved you. Sometimes people say things to hurt us, but also to redeem their power. This guy is letting you know that he wasnt as invested as he says he was, and that he feels he dated you for the wrong reasons. Dear Dish-It, wouldnt let this guy have so much power over me. I would let him know that I am happy, especially now that I know the truth, I dont have to waste another second on you. Mixed emotions are tough, but you have to use your wise mind, this is the mind that has excellent advice for others in the same situation, picks the best option and feels completely good about their reaction. Wise mind could tell you a lot of things like you dont deserve to be treated this way, and that no boy controls your happiness no matter how great he is. You need to be in a place where you are okay with yourself and not feeling down about this guy who dismissed you. Remember that people say things for the sake of their ego, which they dont mean. Give this guy time and space and you might get your answers, either way, dont be concerned with whether or not he likes you. Try to accept what he said and realize that you can do and find better. Someone who doesnt leave you, and who doesnt take their love back. Why does he feel bad for you? If there are greater issues at stake, dont hide behind boys, deal with them. Get happy for you, be happy for you, and try not to let others have such an affect on you. It might be hard to imagine now, but there will be other guys and better guys who dont put you down or make you feel confused.
Question:
Whenever I breakup with a guy I blow it off like its no big deal, but recently my boyfriend broke up with me via text and I took it pretty bad. I've only told my close friends who constantly ask me if I feel better about the whole thing. I tell them I'm fine, but I'm really not. my EX's best friend is my best guy friend, and we hang out a lot, but so does he and my EX. Plus, school is starting so I will be seeing him every day, and when I think about him I burst into tears. what will happen if I SEE him every day!? HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Insight/Advice:
A wise soul once told me that there will always be people that I dont like or feel uncomfortable around
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