I really would appreciate some help?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: I really would appreciate some help?
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So, I had a girlfriend whom I dated beginning in late November last year and the relationship took a dump in mid January. Quite literally, because out of the blue on a day which we'd been hanging out together like any other, I suddenly receive this text.
So, of course, I'm think that I've done something wrong, or otherwise like something I had said that day was the problem. Of course, I asked if this was the case, and she answered that it was just as the message said. Since then I've been really hung up about it, because she hasn't said more than a few words to me since and we, of course, used to be very close.
Wellllll, my absolute best friend in the world happens to be in a class with this ex of mine. And apparently, the ex mentioned to my friend that the real reason was because she'd said that she loved me, and I hadn't said it back (as in I'd brushed it off like it'd never happened).When my friend told me this, obviously, I'm pretty freaking upset, because I could've patched things up with an adult conversation, but no. Because I do not at all remember her saying this to me, and if she had, I would not have brushed it off if I'd have heard her.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. My question is not whether or not I should try to reconnect with her. I have heard that she is still upset about it, and I surely am. So I would like some help devising a text to send her to get a meaningful, adult talk started to talk about whatever it was that happened.
Any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks. -
Okay so like, the best way to start this out has to begin with a very important question.
She said she loved you. Had you heard her, would you have said it back? -
Absolutely, and if she were to say it again, I'd say the same.
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Do you still want a relationship with her?
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Yes, but I don't know if she still wants one with me. Her friend Izzy has told me that she's still very upset over it and hasn't been going out with any other girls, but I don't know if that translates to her maybe being willing to date me again.
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Then start it with, that.
I love you.
Or you know, /call her./
Or talk to her face to face. Because it would probably mean a lot more to her if you did.
But, if that isn't possible, tell her that you love her. Tell her why. Tell her that you want to try again, because, no matter how hard you try, you can't just be friends. Because it's f---ing hell. You'd rather have her not at all, than just a small piece. (Quotes a book shhh) -
Yeah. Exactly what Andi said, but make sure it's serious. Don't try to guilt trip, or put emotionalism into it. Be straightforward and don't use emotional appeal.
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I'm like
really chicken
I'm kind of scared to do it face to face or on the phone because if she totally rejects me at least I won't have to listen to her tone of voice. But I get what you mean about it being more personal. And I'll definitely tell her I love her, however I decide to do so. -
Face to face is best, in all honesty. She'll be able to see your face and tell that you're sincere. Also, if you're nervous, that shows sincerity. How you act and all... Good luck to you.
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Yeah no guilt that's important
Well, good luck, Mia. -
Thanks you guys, I hope it'll work out.
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Well it didn't, I didn't even get to talk to her. I ended up having a panic attack right before class started in the bathroom, and then I had to text my friend and ask her to come get me. And as she led me, still hyperventilating and makeup all over my face, out of the classroom to go back home, everyone in the class stared at me including the girl. So. Yeah. I don't know if I'm going to just give up on it and just pretend that yesterday never happened or what, but, it definitely didn't go as planned.
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