Russia's So...
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:16pm
Thread Topic: Russia's So...
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One day while Russia was busy with work, the Baltics found themselves huddled around Estonia's laptop, surfing the Internet. On Estonia's Google homepage, the trio found a certain category of jokes...
"Yo' mama's so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl," Estonia read out loud. The trio laughed.
"Read more!" Lithuania smiled. "These are taking my sad, dark depression away!"
Estonia nodded and continued to read more. "Yo' mama's so fat that when she sees a school bus full of white kids, she yells, 'Twinkie!'," he read. "Hey, that kind of sounds like Russia!"
"Actually, it sounds more like Mr. Americ--" Lithuania began.
"Shush, the author's trying to make a joke," Estonia shushed. "Anyway, Russia's so short that when he sneezes, he hits his face on the floor!" More laughter.
"Oh, I've got one!" Liet exclaimed. "Russia's so stupid because when he saw the sign that said 'Disney left', he turned around and went back home!"
Estonia added, "Russia's so fat, even America said 'DAYUM!'!"
Latvia finally piped in, "R-Russia's so fat, he h-has more chins than Ch-China's phone book!"
The other two Baltics stared at the smaller nation, then burst out in fits of laughter. China stuck his head in the room and chimed in, "And that's really saying something, aru!" Which, of course, caused the trio to begin to laugh harder.
Suddenly, a dark presence loomed behind them. With a faint kolkolkol, a creepy voice said, "So you think I'm fat, da?" A gloved hand came down upon Latvia's trembling head, causing him to tremble more violently.
"M-M-M-Mr. Russia!" Liet squeaked, immediately jumping up from his chair. He gave Russia a deep bow. "W-we didn't mean anythi--"
"I'm going to go make tea," Estonia said suddenly, popping up from his chair and walking briskly toward the door. However, he was stopped by Russia, who had caught Estonia's shoulder with the crook of his metal pipe he so endearingly called 'Mr. Discipline'. He stopped cold in his tracks.
Russia smiled his trademark creepy grin. "Let's play a game, da~?"
~~~
The Baltics stood in a row, trembling (Latvia even moreso). Russia held out a list to Lithuania, Mr. Discipline in his other hand. "Read from the list, one by one," he grinned creepily again.
Liet gulped, his hands trembling. "Th-there is no chin under Russia's scarf. Only a-a fist with a lead pipe." He handed the list to Estonia.
"You cannot find Russia on Google; he finds YOU." He, in turn, handed the list to Latvia.
"R-R-R-R-Russia d-d-doesn't s-sleep. H-h-h-h-he w-w-waits." He handed the list back to Lithuania.
This trend went on for many cycles, until Russia suddenly took the list away from Latvia, and turned a few pages over. He then handed the list to China, who had a rather nasty-looking goose egg on his head. "One especially for you, da~?" he grinned creepily yet again.
Rubbing his head, China read, "The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Russia out, aru. It failed miserably, aru."
And from this day forth, no one has uttered another joke about Russia ever again.
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