Insert Generic Zombie Quiz Here: The Sequel

Too often Gotoquiz is besieged by grammatically atrocious, misinformed, incomprehensive, and generally poorly-constructed zombie survival quizzes. It is my sincere hope that this, the sequel to "Insert Generic Zombie Survival Test Here," is none of the above, and as such, you will find that a multitude of research and consideration has gone into it. Considering both of the common zombie types, a myriad of circumstances and knowledge surrounding them, and testing the potential survivor's ability in varied situations, this is quite possibly the most conprehensive zombie survival quiz to-date.

So have you memorised the world's resources on zombie slaying? Have a poster of Machete Jim in your bedroom? Think you have the wits to protect yourself, the skill to vanquish your undead foes, and the abilities to save your hide in the midst of a class 3 or even 4 outbreak? Do you know the viruses inside and out? Do you wield the weapons masterfully? Can you dodge danger in the most extinuating circumstances? We shall see!

Created by: E Lunatic

Are you ready for...
Our "When Will I Die" Quiz?

First things first. There are three MAIN probable causes behind any given case of zombieism: Voodoo Madjiks and which two viruses? (Note: when you see "S" and "C" zombies in this quiz, they refer to this question.)
- s--- nobody cares about and Crap
- Sudafed and Cough Drops
- Solanum and Campian
- Solanum and Chrysmoproylene
- Sykloonz B and Chrysmopropylene
- Something unknown and Comatose...ness
Voodoo zombies are:
- Least dangerous and least docile
- I'm drunk.
- Most dangerous and most docile
- Most dangerous and of varying docileness relative to other zombies
- Most dangerous and least docile
- Least dangerous and most docile
In the case of "C" zombies, there exists...
- Parasitic worms, large abominations crafted from infected bodyparts, "runners" who have the approximate physical capacity of a living hooman, and many levels of injured or decomposing specimen who generally shamble along slowly
- Large abominations crafted from infected bodyparts, "runners" who have the approximate physical capacity of a living hooman, and many levels of injured or decomposing specimen who generally shamble along slowly
- "Runners" who have the approximate physical capacity of a living hooman, and many levels of injured or decomposing specimen who generally shamble along slowly
- Only many levels of injured or decomposing specimen who generally shamble along slowly
- Chow mein, lo mein, and tangy hunan shrimp
- Biologicals, psychologicals, and hydraulics
In the case of "S" zombies, there exists how many greatly distinct varieties?
- Only 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
The "S" virus was first discovered by Westerners through...
- Vance Vanmoulder
- Heidi Van Moore
- Jan Vanderhaven
- Milhouse Van Houten
- "Mr." Vandermarr
- Teh Intarwebz
Regardless of which, if you... a virus-based zombie, you will be infected with the virus.
- Breath the same air as
- Are bitten by
- Eat
- Allow any of its blood or saliva to enter one's body in any manner
- Allow it to eat one's brainz
- Watch pr0ns of
In the case of "S" zombies, the virus spreading via insects is...
- Impossible
- Highly unlikely
- Not common
- A threat
- A common occurance
- The main course of transmission
In the case of the "S" virus, which victims are safe to eat?
- Any which have not yet transformed
- None
- Non-hoomans which have been dead for several hours
- Anything which has been dead for several hours and cooked
- Only females of any species which have been cooked
- Only former hooman males which have been dead for several hours
In order to reach a full transformation, the "S" and "C" viruses, respectively, usually require the passing of how many hours after infection?
- 24 and 12
- 48 and 3
- 5 and 0.2
- 5 and 48
- 24 and 24
The "S" virus is capable of reanimating corpses created by another means.
- True
- False
The "C" virus is capable of doing so.
- True
- False
How may one quickly determine whether they are combatting "S" or "C" zombies?
- "S" zombies are purple
- "C" zombies will include animals and decayed corpses, "S" zombies will not
- "S" zombies will include decayed corpses, "C" zombies will not
- There is no simple method for this
Zombies can be killed by...
- Loss of blood
- Piercing of heart
- The liiiiiiiiight *waves cruxifix*
- Destroying the brain
- Immolation
Zombies can be practically disabled by...
- Removing the head
- Removing both legs
- Intense pain
- Castration
- Eye gouging
One highly proffessional source, while almost universally correct, makes one false claim that the "S" virus is fatal to all living things. Which of the following are usually not overcome by it?
- The Hydra, durr.
- Rodents, when they have access to abundant food
- Sea creatures, when they are temporarily out of water
- Robert Pattinson, when his hair is not harmed in the process
- Werewolves, if they are in their wolf form when bitten or for a certain amount of time afterwards
- The above two
How much weight do you think you can safely carry, given devices such as backpacks, bags, and similar containers, for 6 hours of walking?
- Over 120 lbs
- 75-119 lbs
- 50-74 lbs
- 24-49 lbs
- 0-24 lbs
- 6 hours of walking? Pfffft I'm too lazy for that s--- man.
Withing one minute of now, can you access a firearm and relevant ammunition?
- No
- Yes, a small arm
- Yes, a larger arm (shotgun, hunting rifle, et cetera)
- Yes, a military-grade arm (automatic rifle, submachine gun, et cetera)
- Yes, but only weak/innefficient arms (pellet/BB gun, bow and arrow, et cetera)
Which of these best describes the location of your home?
- Urban
- Suburban
- Large town
- Small town
- Rural community
- Avoiding the ravages of industrialized society and outstanding warrants in the Montana wilderness
How much skill do you have in improvising weapons and devices? (Select the furthest down which applies.)
- With only a wooden pole and duct tape, I may well fail to make a wooden pole with duct tape on it
- With only a wooden pole and duct tape, I can make a wooden pole with duct tape on it
- With only a kite's string and a rock I can make an effective, albeit not very durable medium-long range weapon
- With only a durable pipe, firecrackers/works, and some rocks, I can make a primitive arquebus...but only because I saw that episode of Star Trek
- With only a shovel, two boards, and a healthy tree, I can craft reliable temporary shelter
- With only a paper clip, a rubber band, and a plastic drinking straw, I can save Peter's dog
Which of these can you safely pilot? Choose the furthest down which applies.
- Shoes... I think
- Automobile
- Motorcycle
- 18-Wheel truck
- Helicopter
- At least 4 of the above
How long can you probably remain awake and reasonably alert whilst doing semi-sedentary activity, if there's a notable chance that your life depends on it?
- 16 hours?
- 24 hours
- 36 hours
- 48 hours
- 60 hours
- At least 72 hours
In the case of the "S" virus, has it been proven possible to trick the zombies by acting as them? In the case of the "C" virus?
- Yes and yes
- Yes and no
- No and yes
- No and no
How well do you know your local ecology/geography?
- ...?
- I have a general idea of local geography
- I have a general idea of local geography and know how to identify some edible things
- I have a general idea of local geography and will be able to determine how to effectively aquire food in the wilderness, given the opportunity
- I am well aware of local geography and the identification and general location/aquisition of potential food
- I am well versed in local geography, the location, identification, and aquisition of potential food, and identification of poisonous species
(Note: Most of the rest of the quiz will be in "scenario" format.) You awake, turn on the television, and catch a local news bulletin in which police are shown surrounding a home described as housing several diseased and openly hostile individuals. You think, "Damn! ...!"
- Class 1 outbreak!
- Class 2 outbreak!
- Class 3 outbreak!
- Class 4 outbreak!
- SWINE FLOO!!!!!!!!!
- Ah whant shum BHEWZSH.
But despite that well-thought-out assumption, the outbreak has escalated to considerably larger proportions by the next day. Several zombies are, in fact, in your yard. What do you do?
- Panic
- Get drunk and throw rocks at them
- Grab a melee weapon and kill the zombies quietly before assessing the situation
- Grab a gun and shoot them from the safety of your home
- Begin barricading yourself in the safest room in your house
- Flee your home immediately
Upon observing the neighborhood, there are a few scattered zombies and various humans combatting them. With this knowledge, you:
- Join in and attempt to clear the area
- Call the police
- Arm yourself and go directly to the local police force
- Go to the hospital to see about immunization
- Arm yourself and drive to the nearest store(s) to get as much supplies as possible, observing carefully to see whether your house is the best potential stronghold and whether the area is suitable to remain in
- Watch the news for a few minutes before determining your course of action
Although they are rudimentary at best, which type of zombie retains the most human psychological characteristics?
- "S"
- "C"
- Equal
If you were going to combat any type of zombies and only the items mentioned were available, which strategy and equipment would best suit you? Assume that you will be fighting in a solo situation.
- Scarf, handgun, and chainsaw. There's not much to say here--the chainsaw hacks through zombies while the scarf keeps their bits from flying into one's mouth. The pistol will be used to pick off a few zombies until they are in melee range.
- No clothing and a keg of booze. I know I would get myself killed anyway, so I should make the best of my last moments, amirite?
- Trenchcoat, heavy spade, and knife. Although the coat's length may be somewhat of a liability in terms of being grabbed at, the spade's reach reduces the chances of this and if it should occur it can be easily rectified using the knife as the zombie in question fails to bite through the durable material. No bullets means longevity and stealth.
- Tightest possible clothing, shotgun, and cricket bat. The bat will be used to dispatch individual zombies while the shotgun will be conserved for emergencies in which it must be used to incapacitate large groups. The clothing will greatly reduce the risk of being seized, although the danger created if this does occur will be far greater versus heavier clothing.
- Any clothing, hunting rifle, and shotgun. The rifle will be used in the case of individuals while the shotgun will, as mentioned earlier, make quick work of crowds. The idea here is that zombies will never get close enough to pose an immediate threat of biting.
- Heavy winter coat, scissors and a sledgehammer. The same basic principles as the trenchcoat, spade et cetera apply here, but the durability of the clothing will be of such magnitude that one can afford to be seized and still continue killing zombies, in theory.
If you knew you would have to find and fortify a new shelter and probably deal with other survivors while using that equipment, of the following, what would you add to your arsenal?
- A first-aid kit
- Hard liquor
- Bleach, prune juice, and resealable plastic bags--not Ziplock
- A flashlight
- A hammer and nails
- Money
If you have determined that the area is too dangerous and you must travel and/or upgrade your shelter, of these, where will you go?
- To a local shelter or the town hall
- To your mother's room byotch
- To jail, I have a get-out-of-jail-free card
- To the nearest tundra, deserted island, or low-population mountains
- To the mall or Wal-Mart
- Yo zombie dawg. I herd u liek daggers. So Ima put a dagger in your dagger. So you can be stabbed while you're getting stabbed. ...Dawg.
If "S" zombies are the cause, using?
- A sedan
- A bicycle
- An SUV
- A pickup truck
- A pair of "Soopder-ley-Dooper Speed Boots" you paid 200$ for at a yard sale
How about if "C" zombies were the cause?
- A muscle car
- A motorcycle
- A minivan
- A Model T
- A McMuffin (egg)
Considering the level of fortification you would have put into your home, how likely is that scenario?
- Implausible
- Unlikely
- A consideration
- Very possible
- Likely
- Inevitable
If one's lover had been bitten but had not yet turned or lost conciousness, would it be safe to kiss him/her?
- Yes
- No
- Not sure, but I'd stay on the safe side
- Not sure, but I would anyway
In the field, SPAM (with an expiration date of 2230, packaging date of November 5th of last year) is best used for...
- Food
- Pythonesque humour. Find some other canned food, its sterility is questionable
- Nothing. Get some decent food!
There are rumours of a certain two sentient zombies of unknown origin who travel together and are friendly to some humans. How would one recognise them during a class 3 outbreak?
- Loudly call out, "Hey. Are you gonna try to eat me?"
- "The Boots"
- "The Pipe"
- They wouldn't be killing people
- They would be fighting other zombies
- It's not worth the time. They can probably do me little good, the last two options are dubious, the first dangerous, and I have no idea what "The Boots" or "The Pipe" refers to.
Do you know who Hoss Delgado is? Would he fare well against "S" or "C" zombies?
- Yes
- No
- I don't know him (No effect)
Would Ferdinand Magellan fare well against "S" or "C" zombies?
- Probably not, given general facts about him
- Doubtful, given his lesser-known reputation
- He has proven not to
- Probably, given general facts about him
- Likely, given his lesser-known reputation
- He has proven to
In combatting zombies, which is the best equipment you could practically hope to field?
- M60
- Carbine and machete
- Flamethrower
- Rocket launcher
- Moobs
- Compound I.M. 1337C
Roughly speaking, SNAFU is to SUSFU as RTFM is to...
- Caviar
- Quagmire
- Moon base
- 64 Bit
- RTFMA
- DILLIGAFF
When travelling, the ideal group is...
- Only disciplined survivors and as small as possible
- As many people as one shares meaningful loyalty with
- Small to medium sized, including some less-than-ideal members but no large liabilities
- Up to 30 people or so, any more and it would get extraneous
- An indefinitely large number, but no considerably weak members
- Anyone one meets up with; strength in numbers!
Do you have any mechanical skill, in terms of vehicles or household appliances?
- Pfffft no.
- Only the extremely basic
- I have experience with certain highly specialized tasks in the category
- I have a fair knowledge of mechanics/electronics and a general idea on the composition of most common such items
- I am a trained mechanic/electrician/similar technician
- Just call me Red Green.
How would you rate your willpower?
- Infallible
- Extreme
- Strong
- Notable
- Average
- Weak
How would you rate your moralistic tendencies?
- Nihilistic
- Coldhearted
- Self-serving
- Reasonable
- Caring
- Saintly
What is your IQ?
- Under 90
- 91-110 (Average)
- 111-120
- 121-130
- 131-170 (Genius)
- Over 170
How high is your will to survive?
- Tenuous
- Average--as in, very important
- Hugely important
- Top priority
- Extreme
- All-encompassing
What is the aproximate chance that a speedy and clean amputation will save a victim of a zombie bite on a nonvital body part from death and/or transformation, INCLUDING cases in which death is caused by the amputation?
- 95%
- 75%
- 50%
- 10%
- 2%
- 0%
ORGANISE
- BEFORE
- THEY
- RISE.

Insert Generic Zombie Quiz Here: The Sequel

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