Opinion on polyamory?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 26, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: Opinion on polyamory?
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Alt account for privacy reasons. I think polyamory is too taboo and a lot of couples break up because poly people have to suppress that part of themselves until it causes problems in their relationship.
If you are against polygamy, I would love to hear why. Do you think it should be a more accepted part of of the LGBT community? -
Polygamy* I used the wrong tense for my post. Sorry fam
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Absolutely nothing wrong with it. I see a lot of people being very critical and mean to those who are polygamous. Calling them "cheaters" etc. Personally, it is not for me, but I have nothing against it
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Also, maybe this is controversial but in my opinion, polygamy does not inherently fall under the LGBTQ+ umbrella
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Pretty sure polygamy and polyamory are different things, though more by connotation than definition maybe?
But in short there's nothing wrong with polyamory if it's done right. It has to be something that all parties in a relationship are on board with... from my own experience, a lot of unhappy couples will attempt to have an open relationship/poly relationship as some sort of compromise. That never works.
In a relationship with healthy communication, honesty and trust, yes, it can be successful. Unfortunately a lot of people just aren't open to that and there's nothing wrong with that. I myself am not a jealous person and I have a lot of love to give - I tend to have a conversation early on any person I'm seeing about the fact that I'm open to poly relationships. And if they're not, that's cool. If they are, also cool. I find being upfront about it to be the best route but I'm equally happy in monogamous relationships so it isn't a dealbreaker for me, like it could be for others.
Tldr communicate with ur partners, and early on. If you're only interested in poly you need to establish that. If the other party isn't interested... They're just not.
@bread I don't think so either necessarily but when you've got more than two people in a relationship isn't it bound to be a little queer in one direction or another? By default? Unless you're referring to polygamy as in one husband with multiple suster wives. I'm talking about the wives all also being wives to each other -
/continued from last post because i had another thought
Still kinda @bread but mostly rambling//
Unless like. It's an open relationship type-of polyamory and then i guess it could not be queer at all lol. -
(I can't do math but I've realized I was infact wrong and it's not always a little queer) -
The first diagram is why I don't think it's inherently queer. It could be a man with two wives, or a woman with two husband's, and if the spouses aren't involved with eachother, that's just straight. But if you're all involved with eachother and it's a throuple or something then obviously it'd be gay in some way.
Not every poly relationship is queer so I don't think it's right to put poly under the lgbtq umbrella -
Thank you two! I think I thought polygamy and polyamory were the same thing whoops. I definitely meant polyamory. Tbh the only kind of poly relationship I don't support are religious patriarchal polygamous ones. Imbalanced power dynamics are not cool
I do wonder how poly people can come to be more accepted though, if they aren't a part of LGBTQ+ or any broader socal movement. There's a lot of subcultures and sexual/romantic preferences that don't get a lot of attention or are heavily stigmatized. -
i will say, i have witnessed a lot of straight couples who really should break up, especially when there IS cheating going on, trying to make an open relationship work as a last ditch effort. (not saying this is exclusive to straight couples, just what i've witnessed) and I feel that that really damages the reputation that responsible, healthy poly couples get.
I think the best route is being up front and factual, and explaining misconceptions when they come up. A lot of people think polyamory is just religious polygamy, a lot of people think it's just like, openly cheating on your partner. Not everyone is going to understand it, especially not any time soon. But the good news is, it is being talked about more!
Personally I think the younger generations are going to move away from traditional marriage structures anyways. We already are tbh. -
i think the Z shaped one is just called cheating. i find it slightly funny bc i was in a relationship like that once. i was dating a guy who was cheating on me with another girl. and that girl was cheating on him with a girl, and that girl was cheating on her with a guy. it was pretty complicated, but i ended up friends with the guy on the other side of the chain
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The difference between cheating and polyamory is mutual consent.
Cheating is anything in a relationship that breaks an established trust & boundary system. That system is different for everyone.
Tbh I think a huge reason it's so frowned upon is because most people aren't even mature enough for one relationship, let alone multiple partners. -
I do empathize with your situation though foxy. I went through something similar when I was about your age and it's no fun. I promise you deserve someone who respects you and cherishes you.
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