1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old 2. What is your gender? Male Female 3. Pick one quote. Well, if you are going to break the law, you should know the law. Sometimes Im glad I only deal with dead people Theres nothing harmless about death Dont insult me. Luck is only for those without skill. Right, theres always a clue, except we dont have a body Is there truly no place left in Las Vegas without slot machines? 4. Pick one quote. [looking for some recognition] Thank you, for performing that incredibly elaborate test requiring copious concentration and an advanced degree Well, we already know she cooks like I do -- takeout on speed dial Does Mr. Double Latte have a name? Bags under the eyes, coffee cups, stress face. Any of this look familiar? Im working on it hey, Im just doing my job. Besides, if they had sent you to jail Id get stuck with all your cases Looks like somebody had a par-tay 5. Pick one quote. I feel it in every one of my 206 bones that this was a murder Relax, man. It takes, like, two hours for ricin symptoms to show and, like, 48 more to kill you If you want me to suave anyone I got to know the shot We are just a couple of science geeks. Why cant we work together? Hey, Gil. Wait. Youve got something stuck to your shoe... Oh, no, its just Sanders Mmm. Junk food and radiation. Good combo. 6. Pick one quote. Im not ignoring scientific method. Im just keeping an open mind. If we eliminate all the alternatives we are left with spontaneous combustion. Thats exciting! I think you scared him, all his hairs are standing up (about a tarantula). Im all over it like a cheap suit I could use this. Lay out all the body parts. Get a real overview. Is that a light under there? I love this table. Ring any bells? Rub-a-dub-dub. Dead man in a tub now we are getting into this whole strip forensics thing and Im not too sure I can hang with that - even if you are my boss 7. pick one quote. People dont vanish, Jim. Its a molecular impossibility Well, the nerd squad is off and running I wasnt being rude. I was being curt. Rude would be, When I know, you'll know. Friends? Well, I think I hear some coffee perking Dont touch me, Im evidence. I hate lawyers, I hate court. They all need to dry up and die. 8. Pick one quote. So theres good news and bad news. Good news is, this is the busiest lab in the country. Bad news is, this is the busiest lab in the country I love mankind, its people I cant stand (quoting Linus from Charlie Brown) I mean, I dont know. I care about a woman, I put her picture in a frame. Maybe put it on my desk but to tear it up and throw it in the garbage with old cole slaw that just doesnt say love to me You get these haikus out of a book or do they just come to you? I consider myself a superhero every day. You love me. Who you kidding? 9. Pick one quote. Well, not even you can stop time. The cousin of footprints. Sock prints ... look May I have your straw? I ... I collect them And shes stiff. Like a two-minute burrito thats only been nuked for a minute A very special insect, Dr. Seuss? I had it all - palate expander, braces, retainer, headgear. Five years of torture, but worth every penny, dont you think? 10. Pick a quote. Testing for blood on a hockey jersey is like handing out jaywalking tickets at a marathon You say tomato and I say Cause of Death ... Listen to yourselves. Youre like Dodger fans. The Ball games only in the seventh inning and youre already out of your seats. Normal people dont torture people in storage bins. Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer. Swab one down, run it through CODIS, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall. Only clue he has got is a missing boat, which sucks because... its missing 11. Pick one quote. (sarcastically): Your powers of deduction are remarkable, detective. Its raining man juice? Clothing, $85. Earrings, $30. Latte, $4. Getting away with murder...priceless. Surfing is just a state of mind Dressed as a woman among men dressed as women. Now, see? Thats a disguise Well, maybe a little hobbit put it there 12. Pick one quote. Nice stare. Too bad it doesnt work on me. Keep it though - theyll love it in prison. You made my pickle into a light bulb? Hand me that foot, would you? Translation: We are opening a political can of worms Did you take your medication today? And let me tell you, this girl has got some fine epithelials. 13. Pick one quote. You never get a second chance to make a first impression Its going to take a lot more than vegetable insults to get us to move You didnt poison him, either. All these bad things just 'happen' to you Youre awake. I hate you Tricks are for kids, man. I dont play games (gambling) anymore. You know ... a real man wouldnt mind 14. Pick one quote. When I was ten I quit karate because a kid half my size made me cry Im gonna go out on a limb here and say theyre hiding something And he is messing with my man so I get my licks up Technically, that makes you a cannibal. Grissom would be proud. Thats wonderful, If I see a gorilla, I will arrest it I cant be everywhere, and they banned human cloning 15. Pick one quote. We chase the lie 'til it leads to the truth When you want evidence, you cant find it. When you dont want it, its big as Dallas You start making deals with the devil, you dont get to walk away. You understand what Im saying? She has always been there for anyone who needs her. Shes always had my back. So what if she flew off the handle a little? I know that. I do. I know that. Thats why Im mad innocent man. Jail is full of 'em 16. Pick one quote. Every nine years and 34 days I feel like sharing you are under arrest for obstructing justice, tampering with states evidence, and violating seven articles of scumbag Shopping cart in the lab is like a lion in a zoo. I needed to see it in its natural habitat. Ive never seen this place with the lights on before. Its kind of like seeing a one-night stand in the morning for the first time And I suppose you believe in Santa? (sarcastically): Oh, yeah, I will run it through the hot dog appliances database. 17. Pick one quote Its a good thing you dont need to pass a spelling test to work the field, "funtain" water? I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time I was a dork in high school. Im still a dork, but I had dimples. I had to send this to an outside lab since we are not equipped to carry out bacterial DNA analysis. Hint, hint. I will see your end cap and raise you a grommet Did you ever hear a dog say woof-woof, I mean, what is the origin of that? And what do we sound like to them, I wonder.